The Other Love in my Life…

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This is the first of many posts (I hope!) about the other part of my life that I love.

Bonsai…

This particular tree is not one of mine but I wish it was. A gingko, one of the oldest trees in living memory and might have been here when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

As you can tell from the trunk, it is very old in this picture too. It can take a many human lifetime for any tree to end up with a such a trunk as this. The leaves too, normally quite large, have become smaller and match the proportions of the tree very well.

Someone has cherished and cared for this beautiful tree for a very long time and I would love to know just how old it really is. Probably worth a small fortune too, which rules me out of ever owning such a specimen.

In the coming weeks I would like to introduce you to other lovely trees, some of them my own. And also just what owning a bonsai really means…

AAA (2)

#Jaye’s Journal ~ Week 24 (a bit late)

Jaye's Journal x12

 

The letter from the hospital arrived yesterday and the first of my cataracts will be removed next week and I have a pre op appointment tomorrow to check me out. I wonder what happened to the ten weeks wait I was told to expect.

We left early to get to the hospital for we can never judge what the car parking will be like and arrived far too early. The hospital was busy, but we managed to find out where we were supposed to be. The Eye department is one of the oldest parts of the hospital and didn’t have any of the iced water machines that I like so much, and my mouth was as dry as a bone.

By the time we sat down in the waiting room, there was still half an hour to wait, so was very surprised when my name was called. A kind and pleasant male nurse welcomed me, proceeded to check me over and then explained what would be happening to me. Though I was a little perturbed when he said I wouldn’t feel a thing, and then calmly said that a nurse would be holding my hand, so I could squeeze it if I felt anything. Not very reassuring!

I appreciated this more than you know, for the last time I was there, I was subjected to a pompous, short tempered consultant who clearly thought I was wasting his time. My treatment today was very different.

I just know that the next six days are going to be awful…

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There was me thinking I would have plenty of time to finish the WIP and make a few inroads into the marketing, but this unexpected news has literally knocked me for six. Mainly, I hope, because I wasn’t expecting it. Not that I am worried about them slicing bits of my eyes. Well, maybe just a little…

The thought of all this disruption is having a weird effect on me. Instead of getting a move on and pressing the panic button, I seem to be doing the opposite and moving around as though up to my neck in treacle. Almost everything is far too much trouble and I cannot be asked to do anything.

It is affecting the weather too, and it hasn’t stopped raining for days. Absolutely no chance of doing any gardening either then.

Thinking is becoming more difficult too, is it because I am facing the Unknown?

Two days of inertia later, I have managed to scrape together some enthusiasm. Guilt will always work, don’t you find?

After making such good progress last week with the new PC and Word, several peculiar wrinkles decide to make an appearance, completely undermining my confidence again. Needless to say, I didn’t need this.

I have been struggling to do so many things, things I had no trouble doing before.  I have the feeling I am out of my depth with technology, a feeling I haven’t had since the early days.

What do you do when you have misplaced your enthusiasm?

I know that when you get to my age, you begin to run out of things, like patience, common sense, memory and a simple thing like joy. Then there are the knees that no longer want to work anymore and a back that starts to ache even before you get up in the morning.

Add to that several weeks months of only having one usable eye and the next part of my life is going to be interesting.

Just don’t call me Cyclops!

Anita has just said something that made me smile. She said ‘Don’t forget, in the Kingdom of the blind, the one eyed is King…’

AAA (2)

 

Time to Think Again!

 

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A new week starts, a time when my enthusiasm usually renews itself, but there is a noticeable lack of ‘get up and go’. It was more like, ‘get your arse moving and see what you can muddle through this week!’

Last month’s USB failure, resulting in the loss of three weeks work, has left a sour taste in my soul, leading me to wonder if I should even be doing any of this promotional stuff. I have ended up juggling so many balls; I am in danger of losing sight of the original dream, consumed as I am with the need to find that one magic ingredient that will make it all worthwhile.

It is always possible that I am not destined for greatness, and I am happy to realise that. Relieved, actually, but that will not stop me from trying my best, and improving my work. (At the time of writing, I plan to re-edit my books and update the covers, blurbs and keywords. I have been having a long hard look and not entirely happy with what I see!)

Little by little, I think I am beginning to lose my edge, the ability to juggle everything and still keep my balance. I seem to recall that this has happened to me before, a long time ago. I was in a relationship, and as long as I obeyed the rules and performed as instructed, I was grudgingly allowed to breathe.

Of course, the day eventually came when I needed more than that when I was tired of the constant struggle to be the person that was required. This wasn’t the first time I escaped from tyranny and it wouldn’t be my last, but eventually, I found a better way to live.

My present struggle is beginning to feel the same, and the need to escape is growing again. This presents a problem, for I don’t want to run away from most of it. I have to find a compromise, a way to keep our options open and the dream alive. I have to stop trying everything and anything, looking for the golden goose, who, for all I know, gave up laying eggs a long time ago…

A Very Special Moment…

 

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Merlin has been sitting on the desk with me a lot lately, so when he turned up again this morning, I simply stroked his head and went back to what I was doing on the computer.

He moved a little closer and I began to wonder if something was wrong. I studied him for a while, then gently put my hand on his head. He looked bright enough and his head and ears felt cool, so I let my hand slide slowly down his back. He looked up at me with so much wisdom and intelligence in his amber eyes and at that moment, I experienced a deep communication between us as our eyes met.

It is usually difficult to see Merlin’s eyes properly, as they seem to vanish in his black face, but for once I could clearly see him looking at me.

He stretched his head towards me until our heads were almost touching. I was sure he had something to tell me, but all I felt was such overwhelming sadness. Was it just his sorrow, or my own somehow joining together?

“You okay, Merlin?”

I had the strongest feeling he wasn’t, as I knew old age was creeping up on him too. I had seen how many times he missed the couch when a jump failed, and how he often stumbled as he walked around. I found myself wondering if he ever thought about how much time he had left, as I often did. The thought that neither of us might not last much longer brought tears to my eyes.

He stayed with me for a while and I with him, sharing something very special.

Two old souls, emotionally communicating on some deeper level.

AAA (2)

 

The Ancient Streets of London for #Willow Poetry…

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Weekly challenge

Weekly Challenge  (June 4 to June 10/2019)

How to join: write a post on your own blog,  your choice of poetry or a story.

Link back to this prompt:  leave a link of your post (or Pingback)  in the comment section –  (Do check that your link shows up in the comment section).

Monday “Round-up” includes all links posted in the comment section of this post.

Photo prompt June 4 to June 10, 2019:

Image by Willow Poetry

 

The ancient streets of London, under a full moon

A story old as time was playing out of the feline variety

Lola, a beautiful white Persian had fallen for the ginger tom cat

Whose master had once called him Phillip

Before moving away, leaving him on the streets

Her father, having searched the rooftops

Found her on her own with the chocolates

Phillip had half inched from an open window

She sat, holding his tattered hat

He gave the lecture that so many fathers have done

Little knowing Phillip hung by his claws from the gutter.

Should he take note of these very words coming from her father

That she will end up in the gutter should she continue the courtship

Phillip had washed and pressed his best tie

Worn his only hat which she now clutches

He hangs from the gutter feeling like a criminal

He has no home and lives in the dark alleys of London

He cannot ask her to do the same

Her father is right, she deserves better

With her father’s words ringing in his ear

He wondered, could he find a good place to call home

Elope with his beloved Lola

He heard her say, “Father, I will follow Phillip anywhere.

He will look after me. Love finds a way.”

Phillip had the answer his heart wanted to hear

From the lips of one who loved him…

AAAAA

11111

Sweet Embrace… #Poetry

 

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Image by Pixabay.com

 

Sweet Embrace

Elsa swam across the sea

With lead lined boots, her heart did quake

Her love lies deep below

To his tomb she means to go

Her life so empty it cannot be filled

Of promises that time will heal

His desire for treasures he wished to find

His greatest treasure he left behind

Her tear-filled face when last he breathed

Too late the penny dropped, his eyes closed

She is now forgotten

Her lead lined boots reached the mud below

Her heart filled with a sudden glow

She found her love in a pool of light

Made from cold green sea

She held his hand, heard her name whispered from his lips

Held by time and tide, they lie together now

In sweet eternal embrace…

AAAAA

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#Blog Battle @RachaelRitchey

 

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This is it! Blog Battle’s Glorious Return

We’ve all heard how writing is a lonely business. Well, I think we’ve all heard it. And if not, now we have. But in the world of the internet, writing doesn’t have to be nearly so isolated a pursuit!

Blog Battle isn’t your typical writing prompt. At our core, we want to create relationships, build life-long writer friendships, and encourage each other to become better writers than we were yesterday.

Admittedly, this means a little extra work. BUT! It is worth it. People are worth it. The value we gain from connecting with other writers who are on the same journey we are cannot be measured by analytics or the next best thing in social media marketing.

That brings us here, to Blog Battle. When you take up the monthly prompt, write your short fiction, and then share it with us, you are entering into a community. Don’t think of this as a “post and pray someone reads my stuff” writing prompt. That is all well and good (Truly it is. We all want to be read.), but the idea is to go out and read your fellow writers, share their work, share each other’s work, comment, connect, make friends, encourage, help and learn something new along the way.

So, what d’ ya say? Ready to join the battle against the writing machine? Ready to become part of our legion of writers?

 

Here is our comtribution for this month!

 

Finding Light

When the earth covers the sun,

leaving us with old age magic

As thought so many years ago

Today, I see it as the earth claiming

her full crown rather than a tiara

The Corona, Earth’s full glory

A light so bright we dare not look without protection

Reminding me of the beautiful colours

that surround the pupils of our eyes

A corona of sorts.

Eyes have long fascinated me

Many and varied, some with the most exciting patterns

They say more than the sound of the voice

I listen to both.

My neighbour’s window, first thing in the morning

When the sun hits it, there is a corona of light

A perfect circle reflected on the old flint wall

opposite my living room window

My eye on the world

The Sun plays tricks with the light

Even though Mercury is said to be the trickster

The halo around the head of a saint

Shows me his head is in the way of the light

His personal corona

We all have a light around us

Kirlian photography can show this

As beautiful as any made by Earth or Moon

Yet late at night when the clouds are just right

The amazing coloured halo around the Moon

Is by far the best corona

Search for the light, after all it is magic

The first thing called into being…

AAAAA

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Jaye’s Journal – Week 22

Jaye's Journal x12

 

After much searching, comparing and pulling my hair out, I finally found a PC that has everything I wanted at a price I could almost afford. I have this problem with shopping online, as I never seem to end up liking what I buy. Never been any good choosing anything and always get it wrong.

It arrived yesterday, and my old friend nagging doubt turned up with it.

Much smaller than I thought it would be, although I believe this is the new trend, and still managed to look pretty scary. Immediately, I found a possible problem. The activation label clearly said Windows 7, even though I thought I ordered Windows 10.

So, I might have done it again and chosen the wrong one.

Because of the Bank Holiday, I had to wait until Tuesday to telephone the company, for there was no way I would start switching over until they reassure me.

Switching over PCs is not something I enjoy or am any good at, as my tech skills are dismal at best, so at this stage I was still asking myself why I had actually volunteered to do this.

One of the reviews stated enthusiastically that all I had to do is take it out of the box, plug in all the cables and then switch it on.

That I just cannot believe.

The way things are going though, I may never get that far to find out.

 

While I waited, it was business as usual on my old less than faithful pc, despite the frequent crashing, freezing and crazy spelling games it plays. But it gave me a nasty moment this morning.

I switched it on, and instead of my pretty screensaver, the screen was plain blue. There was no icons and no wifi. I feared the worst. Had it beaten me to the punch?

That would be ironic, wouldn’t it?

A brand new PC that I don’t want to install and my old one commits Hara Kiri on me!

After a reboot, everything was fine again, at least for the moment…

Moving swiftly on to the designated torture day…

I had been dreading this day for so long, and was one of the reasons I delayed doing anything about it. I heard so many bad reports about Windows 10, and was more than happy with my old faithful Windows 7, but as they say, all good things have to come to an end.

The new computer came with it already installed, so I had no choice but to hunt for my thinking cap, put it on and see what, if anything I could do with it. There was quite a long wait for the new pc to load or whatever it had to do. They said it would take time, but wasn’t expecting three hours of thumb twiddling!

What followed was one of the worst moments of my life. I stared at the alien screen, trying not to feel as sick as a parrot by the sheer enormity of what I had done. (and still had to do!) And what was rapidly turning into what I might not be able to do.

I retired wounded for the day, not having mastered any of it.

I have a book, aptly called Windows 10 for Seniors, so I spent the evening going further into the depths of insanity, reading anything that sounded helpful. But in reality, none of made any sense to me.

The following day, inspired by my refusal to quit, I switched the offending machine back on and played around, pressing everything in sight and seeing what happened. I found help screens that weren’t very, then tried to connect using my Microsoft account password.

You don’t want to know how long that took.

One day on, and I have surprised myself. Things are magically beginning to work!

There have been a pile of things I had to fix, one of them involved the speakers, which for some reason didn’t want to work. The sound, when I found  out how to turn it on, came out of the tower thingy and sounded as though there was an idiot trapped in there.

Basically, and this really hurts to admit, I think I like my new computer and can foresee a bright future. A very poor future, for along with the cost of the thing, I had to cough up for a brand new Microsoft Word too…

Off to start uploading thousands of my images and files, so not going anywhere this weekend.

I hope everyone else has a good one though…

AAA (2)

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#Poetry: Shadows…

 

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Shadows followed me today

Pushing me forward, holding back

Steps I had taken along the way

Memories flooding, sad to tell

Of family, friends left behind

Some to look for, some to find

Words I should have spoken

To say I am sorry, please take me back…

©Anita Dawes