The Enthusiasm Wagon…

The tomatoes are growing!

Here we are again, it’s Monday, the sun is shining, every reason to feel optimistic…

But I don’t. Somehow, I fell off the enthusiasm wagon over the weekend. Not sure why, for there didn’t seem to be a reason. Maybe I just needed to chill out for a bit.

Trouble is, today, I can’t seem to find that bloody wagon!

I have been feeling a little uneasy lately, but nothing I could put my finger on. Just enough to make my thoughts wander. I need to be more organised, have more work scheduled, already written, that sort of thing. This simply must happen if we want to move on, or up in the writing world.

Marketing has been a bit of a non-entity this year, and for the life of me, I cannot remember when it stopped being at the top of our must-do list! These days there are so many things going on, it has become difficult to string several thoughts together in order to trigger the creative process.

Apart from the garden, which does see me occasionally. More duty than inspirational though, despite managing to grow our first tomatoes, as they must be watered. But for those few minutes, as I wander around spraying water, something magical happens and I come back inside in a much better mood.

Sunflowers

Now the weather is getting warmer, I think I will be working/writing outside. I’m not sure if this is where the enthusiasm wagon is parked, but it’s definitely not in my office!

Jaye

Macro Monday… #A Brand New Week!

Image by FelixMittermeier from Pixabay

Summer seems to have arrived here in the south of England.

Blue skies and sunshine, with a warm breeze, but a heatwave forecast at the end of the week!

The ripples in today’s image reminded me of last week’s frustrations, hoping that is all that remains of them as we begin a new and (hopefully) better week.

Last week, we had an inspection scheduled for Wednesday, which meant there was a lot of housework to catch up on. So far, so good, everything under control. The housework needed doing anyway.

Then everything came apart at the seams. The inspection was cancelled, our broadband malfunctioned, driving me batty. Add to the list a possible health worry for me and we had had enough.

I wasn’t happy that we weren’t coping very well with these quite small problems. They were all fixable and normally we would have taken it all in our stride. A peaceful weekend was needed, and luckily that’s what we got.

Two whole days of reading, writing and relaxing definitely removed the remains of the ripples!

Here’s hoping for a good week for all of us!

A Weird Week…

Impossible, that’s Anita’s poem today, and that word sums up the week we have just had.

We are used to crazy and can tolerate a little madness (in short doses), but we haven’t seen weird around here for quite a while. We are exhausted, both mentally and physically, so will need a quiet weekend to process everything. (in other words, shove everything back into the right boxes!)

Wishing everyone a lovely peaceful weekend too, and we will be back on Monday!

Does anyone fancy a paddle?

Almost is Such a Weird Word…

Image by Irina_kukuts from Pixabay

A writer’s life is not what I thought it would be in the beginning.

Maybe years ago, it was what I imagined, but in these digital times, it has changed so radically from that idyllic, if rather a romantic, notion of what being a writer would be like.

These days, we all wear so many different hats, it’s a wonder we get around to writing anything.

What with the constant struggle to write interesting posts, review all the books we read; trying to find new and practical promotional ideas.

Not to mention all the thinking, worrying, emails and planning, there are not enough hours in the day!

So when I read about organising my life better, my interest was aroused! In this POST, the author recommends assigning different days for specific jobs and not deviating from this agenda. I thought this could work, but not sure about using an alarm clock to keep me on track!

I have long attempted to devise a routine that would help me to get more done, but the harder I try, the more complicated it seems to be and the slower I seem to get.

I have always had a problem with rules and restrictions. Or instead, fate seems to have on my behalf. The minute I decide on a certain idea, timetable or schedule, you can just bet something, or someone will come along and wreck it!

I try to be more productive, especially with my writing, and one of the ways I have found that actually works is to try and write 1000 words every day. As I am up long before anyone else in my family, I usually manage this easily, so in one area, at least, I have it covered. As for everything else, I have almost given up hope as I cannot find a solution that works. I have almost concluded that it may not be possible to go much further, and it might be sensible to stop trying.

Almost is such a weird word, isn’t it?

I’m Thinking…

The words of Anita’s poem today, What Remained, have set me thinking.

Really thinking, something I don’t think I have been doing much of lately.

I have a really good built-in autopilot, so sometimes I don’t need to switch my brain on, and most of the time it works well, especially if I don’t feel well. (Like lately!)  Just don’t ask me what I have been doing all day, because I won’t be able to tell you!

I must be getting better, for I am definitely thinking.

Those words have me wondering what will come after I have gone. Have I created anything worth being remembered for?

I like to think I have done my best so far, even though the last two years have been a nightmare, coping with the pandemic, being a carer and everything else… but it doesn’t seem like the best to me, so I think that is what my brain is trying to tell me.

I know from past experience that it is possible to create anything with enough determination, even when it feels impossible.

However, it is never easy, and the only reason I mention it is that I remember how I felt afterwards. I think I need to feel that again, so planning a think up weekend to see what I can come up with…

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, with lots of good things and great thoughts!

What Remained… #Poetry

Image by Barroa_Artworks from Pixabay
What Remained 


They tip toe through my dreams
Rain soaked, looking angry
After tossing and turning
Noticing small details
Suddenly, the penny dropped
Like lightning flashing
Understanding their loss
Counting sheep backwards to wake
Energy loss wandering through my mind
Nothing made sense, 
 The terror we made…

©AnitaDawes2022

One Step Forward…

Image by Raka Saputra from Pixabay

I seem to be taking one step forward and two back…

The recent productivity is having a knock-on effect on everything, and although I welcome this, I am having trouble understanding why I end up with so many more plans than those I started with. Usually, having nothing to do with what I am doing at the time.

Finishing one job lands me among all those ghosts of other projects I either made a mess of, or completely forgot about.

My mind does try, bless it, to think along dual idea lines, and I have had serious talks with the muse to stop cramming my head with so many ideas, to at least wait until I finish one!

Eventually, of course, my enthusiasm fades, leaving me to struggle on, stubborn to the last. I could do without the never-ending tooth and earache, as they seem to have addled quite a few of my struggling grey cells!

I mean, how long does it take an extraction to heal?

I was going to ring the doctor today, but somehow I can’t make myself pick up the phone, mainly because I know she will fob me off with the same pills as last time, and also because I’m not sure if the toothache is making the ear problem worse, or the other way around.

I have the sneaky feeling that once you approach 80, they start to edge you towards the compost heap, as there has been a noticeable lack of enthusiasm whenever I mention one of my many long-standing problems.

This state of affairs leaves me unwilling to bother, preferring to wait and see what happens while continuing with salt rinses and painkillers. I am also experimenting with CBD drops as they are supposed to help with arthritis and the accompanying depression of everything else.

So far, I am managing to write and run the office…

Jaye’s New Oddness…

Image by Merio from Pixabay

Somehow, I must have turned a certain age or a corner in my life. It must be something, for I seem to be changing.

As I get nearer to my seventy-eighth birthday, I have noticed oddness going on.

Odd is a very good word for what I am feeling.

Lately, you may have noticed that I have been bragging about all the writing I have been doing, but other good stuff has been going on too.

This time of year usually has a welcome effect on me, what with my bonsai collection changing from a row of twigs into beautiful trees overnight.

This year, after the steady inertia of Winter, everything has suddenly started to feel different.

It’s not just what I am doing though, it’s everything that’s going on in my head. (Which at my age is nothing short of remarkable)

Things that used to matter are soaring over my head without pausing to bash me on the head. I no longer want to bite anyone who tries to order me about or cast aspersions all over my plans and dreams.

Believe me, this last thing is having a profound effect on me.

I am like a different person. These past few days, the reason for these changes has been slipping unheeded into my subconscious, but within reach on those thoughtful days. (I hope you get days like that.)

I am deliberately not dwelling on what this might mean, regarding my mental health, as this doesn’t matter either.

You know how our muses can come and go? Well, all my guilty secrets seem to have gone the same way. I am calmer than I have ever been. I just wish I knew how it happened, so I can repeat it if necessary.

If I forget something, or make mistakes (the best one of all) I know it doesn’t really matter as I will get it right tomorrow…

Jaye