The Sun is Shining, but it’s a Terrible day…

I am feeling dreadful today, and had forgotten just how miserable a streaming cold can be…

I know, not sure where this came from either…

Better tomorrow?

Jaye

Disappointing Days… #Poetry

We have reached the end of the second week of covid and are nowhere near as recovered as we thought. We seem to get new symptoms every day, so trying not to feel miserable is almost impossible.

We both tested clear this morning, so that was such good news!

I have been trying to keep the grumpy demons at bay by thinking about a new case for David Snow. I can always rely on him to cheer me up.

Anita is struggling too, but fortunately, she finds solace in her poetry. Today’s wonderful acrostic poem seems to sum up how we are both feeling at the moment…

Loud Drumming

Out across the universe, voices whisper
No man is safe from his imagination
Over time, whispers become words, become deeds
Mirrored in black, the world grows dark
After stating their claim, the web grows stronger
Token friendships, leaving the world a colder place
Out among the shadows, suspicion grows
People follow their master, like sheep they tremble
Opinion has taken over from truth
Evening shadows follow the loud drumming
Inside each mind, suspicion grows wider
Affection, along with the spoken word has died…


©AnitaDawes2022

Jaye’s Days… #Bad News

We never know what’s around the corner, do we?

Just when I thought we were chugging along, managing all the necessary everyday things, something decided to drop a bombshell on our family, causing worry and a fair bit of chaos.

I was still glowing from the success of the book launch for Ghost of a Chance and making plans for my next endeavour. I had originally decided to take time out until after Christmas, but that didn’t seem quite right. So when number one son came home from work feeling decidedly unwell, all kinds of alarm bells started ringing.

The thing we have been dreading had arrived.

A routine test confirmed our worst fears. After avoiding the covid virus all this time, it was now in the house, and we were in all probability, next in line.

We have been taking precautions, literally washing our hands every two minutes and avoiding contamination where possible, but today, five days later, Anita tested positive this morning. She hasn’t been feeling well, but we hoped it was a cold. I just hope she is strong enough to fight her way through it.

My tests have been negative, and I hope they stay that way. If I get it too, we may starve to death, as I’m the only one who knows what to do in the kitchen!

Jaye – wishing for the best!

Jaye’s Week… #Review #Poetry @MaeClair1

If I am honest, this week has not been much of a good one.

I found this very disappointing after such a wonderful book launch the week before.

Possibly an anticlimax, I suppose, but still disappointing.

Still no new appointment from the hospital, which has triggered so many thoughts, ( most of them bad) wondering what the future has in store. I suddenly realised that I am also my own carer, taking care of both of us. Looks like we must take care of ourselves these days, which is better than nothing I suppose.

Our medications are on automatic now, so diet and exercise are down to us, so we must do our best in that department.

The weather has allowed a little gardening this week, and it was good to be outdoors, but it didn’t lift my mood as well as it normally does. Life on the internet has been plagued all week by a Mcafee pop-up, insisting that my computer is riddled with virus and thereby doomed. Anita has not appreciated the amount of cursing that emanates from the office every time it shows up. When she asked me if there was some way to switch the bloody thing off, I had to admit I hadn’t given that a thought. I mean, where would I find such a switch?

At the bottom of the pop-up, it said via Microsoft Edge, so I went there, looking for something I could turn off. And I found it. Under notifications. I turned them off and the pesky thing vanished! Yay!

Things are looking up, I thought, wondering how long they would last.

I didn’t have long to wait.

Yesterday, I noticed a new review for Ghost of a Chance. Instantly, the miserable week faded away.

Mae Clair

4.0 out of 5 stars Dark crime fiction with a splash of the supernatural

Reviewed in the United States on 5 October 2022

Although this book is a continuation in a series, the author did a good job of establishing characters and their past relationships. As a reader I felt on firm footing. The story is told from alternating POVs, all in third person, with the exception of the MC, David Snow, a former DI, who has suffered a debilitating injury that has changed his career path. We get his POV in first person.

While the story itself is gritty, the writing is polished, and the pacing strong. The writer has a deft hand with dark investigative crime. A splash of the supernatural adds an intriguing element to this hard-hitting tale that explores the bleaker side of human nature and relationships.

Thank you so much, Mae!

Anita has just given me her latest poem, and I think it sums up the way we have both been feeling this week.

No Way Out

I am the ghost of my future
Not yet written
Each day is a dead end
Until you wake from sleeping
Walk among the living
Each step writes your own history
Good or bad, it comes by your thoughts
Dreaming puts a drop in the mix
The pink rabbit sitting on your chest
With no way to lead you to the truth
Your day ends the same way, sleeping
The days are not square or long
They are round, you keep going round 
In circles, until you write your way out…

©AnitaDawes2022


Have a great weekend folks, from both of us!

Coming to Terms…

Image by Dominik Rheinheimer from Pixabay 

“Huge oaks from little acorns grow…”

This phrase has been running around in my head for days, and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with my present marketing endeavours for my latest story, Ghost of a Chance.

Marketing is not the easiest thing to do, at least with any degree of success, especially nowadays. Despite what else is going on, I am determined to stick with my plan.

Although I am presently running around like a headless chicken, preparing my latest work of art (I hope) for its release on 27th September, I have wanted to write a post on our other development.

Not an easy post to write, which is why I have been dragging my heels, but I need to write it to get it out of my head.

Since escaping from the hospital last week, I have been trying not to think about it. Especially what may or may not happen next.

Two years ago, when my sister had her massive heart attack, it was touch and go for weeks as they tried desperately to stabilize her. Once that was accomplished, they seemed to forget about her. Follow-up appointments fail to arrive, despite our doctor’s intervention. We do know what to do if the need arises, and they probably rely on that.

Fast forward to the present day and my own heart problems. After failing to unblock my artery, I was sent home with medication clearly designed to prevent any more blockages from developing. Supposedly, an appointment will follow at some point. Four to six weeks was mentioned for another procedure, but as the days pass, I have stopped waiting for the letter to arrive.

Maybe we are too old for them to worry about it anymore?

We have been made comfortable, and hopefully, we will stay that way.

And you know something, we are happy with that…

From the Two of us!

Jaye’s Days… #Silent Sunday

This plant is called Honesty, one of my favourites…

Image by Frauke Riether from Pixabay 

It is Sunday. 

Time to take a moment to catch my breath and my thoughts.

One of these should be easy, but not sure about the other.

To be honest, I don’t think that trying to catch my thoughts will be possible, as some of them have been safely packed away in a box, deliberately out of reach. 

This is sometimes necessary to make it through the day without screaming.

I often wonder what other people do when that elephant takes up residence. I suspect, like me, they ignore it for a while, hoping it will wander off and find somewhere else to play.

Because I cannot do anything about this particular elephant, I must pretend he’s not here. 

Just like I pretend there isn’t a blockage on one of my arteries…

Or a certain member of my family’s health seems to be slowly deteriorating…

Or that I haven’t a clue how we will manage if the bills get any bigger…

There… that’s all of it back in the box; now I can concentrate on all the good stuff.

Luckily, there is still a lot of it around if you know where to look…

Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water, Microsoft Word has stopped working, and nothing I do has made it turn up. So, I have been forced to see if Google Docs is as good as they say… and I must admit, it’s not bad…

Clocking in!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

At the moment, this is what the inside of my head feels like.

Medication never seems to agree with me, and the ones they gave me to help shift the blockage in my artery have been no exception. I keep hoping my body will get used to them and that the pea soup in my head will fade and let me get on with my work.

I am managing the basics, but my brain falters even with the easy stuff. I am used to my brain having more holes than that cheese I love, but the last few days have been ridiculous. I still have the WIP to finish and work on the launch material for the 27th. I have been trying to write a blog post, but the original idea has taken a walk.

This post is to let you know I am doing well, I think! and to let you know, I really appreciated all your hugs and good wishes last week…

from Jaye

The Hospital…

The view from my hospital window…

The QA hospital is one huge building, been around since 1904. Parts of it are old and past their best. After twelve hours of sitting in the emergency department, they sent me to one of these old wards.

This ward was not the cleanest place I have ever been in. It was shabby and untidy, and the staff seemed like robots on automatic pilots. An assessment ward is where they put you if unsure of your treatment. Eventually, I would be moved and secretly quite glad of that.

After a few hours, a couple of porters turned up to take me somewhere else. I thought I would walk there, but no. I was told to climb on the bed, and off we went.

I assumed, wrongly, it turned out that my destination would be nearby, but it was on the other side of the hospital, so it was a long ride.

The ward I found myself in couldn’t have been more different. The minute they pushed my bed and me through the door, the patients already there cheered and welcomed me.

It was at the top of the building. It looked new, bright and airy, spacious and cheerful.  I was really impressed. The view from the windows was amazing. I could see the sea and most of Portsmouth, including the Spinnaker Tower.

The difference didn’t stop there. In the other ward, you always had to ask for things, like fresh water or help. Here in this ward, chilled water arrives regularly as if by magic. I would only be there for a few days, but those lovely ladies made a sorry occasion much better.

So, time to tell you the bad news.

It had been eleven years since my first heart attack and subsequent stent, so I was expecting more of the same. After my arrival in the Cath Lab yesterday, for what was going to be quick and easy like the last time, I was confident that my troubles were over.

The time went by, and after a while, I knew something was wrong. And when the technician approached me with one of the saddest faces and quietly said, ‘I am sorry, my hopes fled.

There was a blocked artery, but it was hiding behind the stent they put in last time. I wonder how often that happens? They had tried several times to clear the blockage and had to admit defeat. I had the feeling this didn’t happen very often, judging by his face. Later, the consultant explained that it resisted because the blockage had been growing for a while.

Hearing this, I felt really guilty. This had to be my fault, as I have ignored the signs for ages, not wanting to upset Anita and cause her more problems. Her heart problems are so much worse than mine!

So, I have come home with new medication to ease the problem, but if it doesn’t do the trick, there is another procedure they can do to solve the problem. They seemed reluctant to do it yet, so I wonder why they didn’t do it while I was spreadeagled on the table…

Jaye

I’m Back!

Jaye’s Week, such as it is…

Jaye’s Week, such as it is…

My brain is so unfair.

It knows I am having trouble, but it wants to get cracking anyway. Keeps coming up with interesting and brilliant writing and promotion ideas that simply vanish before I have the time to get my thinking cap on.

Only five minutes ago, for example, it came up with a cracker. I told myself (and my brain) that I would check it out in a minute. But before I could finish reading the last email on my list, it had left the premises, gone for a walk. Vanished completely. This is what I put up with daily, it’s a wonder I manage to do anything these days…

not sure what these are called, but I love them!

Spending more time away from the computer does have its advantages, however. The recent lovely weather and the arrival of signs of Spring have sent me out of doors. I have discovered that gardening does not give me trouble at all, arthritic knees notwithstanding (or bending for that matter) and I am loving every minute!

Today I will be organising seed sowing. Tomatoes and dahlias. Next week I intend to finish repotting the bonsai that I didn’t get around to last autumn.

I must go now, for the words on my screen are swimming away from me.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and I will see you again on Monday…

Jaye XXX

I Must Make a Decision…

Image by Esi Grünhagen from Pixabay

I must make a decision.

One I have been putting off for a while now. Unfortunately, I must cut back on the work I do, the reading, writing and blogging, due to severe dizziness and nausea.

It breaks my heart, for I love what I do, every single minute of it.

I had enough trouble years back when cataracts nearly scuppered me, but being a trooper, I found other ways to do things.

Now, I have a new and most unwelcome visitor. Something my doctor thinks is Meniere’s Disease. Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

I have been having what I call my dizzy days for years, days when I must give in and switch off the PC. Luckily, these only lasted a day back then. Then it gradually changed to two days, then more, becoming a big problem.

Then the earache began, and the dizziness became worse. I couldn’t work, couldn’t go out in the car due to travel sickness. At my age, I ask you!

Of course, this situation is ongoing. I have new pills that don’t seem to do anything and have yet to be referred to the ENT department at our local hospital.

In the meantime, I am reducing my computer time, as this seems to be the worst culprit. Looking on the bright side, I might get more writing done, away from the glare of that hypnotic screen!

I am determined not to vanish completely, as that will not do at all. I just wanted to let you know that things may look a bit different around here for a while…

Jaye