I have been quiet this week, trying to come to terms with the latest developments.
First, though, I had to get over the colossal disapointment that I wasn’t fit enough. I have been exercising regularly every day since last March. Have I been wasting my time, was the set routine just not good enough, or were my fit days long gone now?
Along with tracking down which department was supposed to be helping with the pain, for I have heard nothing from anybody, I needed to find an exercise routine that would get me fit enough. I mean, is it possible to become superwoman in six months at my age? You would probably have to start reasonably fit, or at least stronger than I am right now.
I cannot describe the well of depression I fell into at that point. It seems stupid that just one setback could push me so far down. I wallowed in misery for two days, only taking time off to try and write. I’m not sure how I managed that, but grateful for small mercies.
I did write a letter to the department that was supposed to have been helping with the pain, and I did find another exercise routine that promised to strengthen my legs in ten days. It was a strong exercise, but inspiring. I really felt motivated while doing it. Only later when both of my legs started to swell, I realised that maybe it was too soon, and maybe too strong.
I entered a quiet mode, determined to avoid any more depression, and while there, I wondered if Tai Chi was as good as they say. It seemed like a calm, gentle way to exercise, and supposedly good for your well being.
Of course, any advice on this subject would be welcome…
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