Inside the box, voices could be heard nagging at my mind Thoughts scrambling, fighting to be one Ending in a light bulb moment Radio had been left on low Daft old man, I told myself Inside the box, you know that, you remember Memory is a tricky thing Every hour that passes, it fades Nice memories cling on fast Sitting like a comfy armchair, don’t let go Inside the box will help you keep listening On this journey we call life Nearer to your ending A new beginning waits Let go, let it in… ©AnitaDawes2022
Sweet Water On knees of broken glass I crawl towards the sea My home, my family lie beneath the waves The pain of having legs drives me on I reach the sweet water, my life Letting myself sink into darkness The pain gone, my tail restored I find my kingdom as I left it Father, cross at my foolishness Will the memory of pain Stop me returning to the land? He will try to call me back I will feel a different kind of pain The loss of his love I am water, he is land We cannot be... ©AnitaDawes2022
Trembling, I stand on the edge of the universe Remembering the life I had before, the family After the long darkness The memories, pinpoints of light, jewels Evening murmurs break the silence Raging storm clouds gather Rain carries new light Evening stars, hidden by dark clouds Sun hides, waiting to shine Telling us there will be a new day Rain covered earth springs back, new life In a memory that shines bright, I remember Her face, her blue eyes that glow Love spoken without words… ©AnitaDawes2022
I See You I see a piece of you like a puzzle that has slipped out of place it's the reason you are out of step with your life. I see the chaos in the space between strange moments that don't fit that don't belong to you. As if someone is trying to occupy the space before it closes. I hear your voice, the sound belongs to another harsh, cruel. It scares me as if someone has taken a piece of my mind. Does it match your missing part? Will we find a way to put them back in place? will life tear more away, as if we were no more than cardboard cut-outs from a forgotten jigsaw puzzle... ©AnitaDawes2019
I must make a decision.
One I have been putting off for a while now. Unfortunately, I must cut back on the work I do, the reading, writing and blogging, due to severe dizziness and nausea.
It breaks my heart, for I love what I do, every single minute of it.
I had enough trouble years back when cataracts nearly scuppered me, but being a trooper, I found other ways to do things.
Now, I have a new and most unwelcome visitor. Something my doctor thinks is Meniere’s Disease. Sounds awful, doesn’t it?
I have been having what I call my dizzy days for years, days when I must give in and switch off the PC. Luckily, these only lasted a day back then. Then it gradually changed to two days, then more, becoming a big problem.
Then the earache began, and the dizziness became worse. I couldn’t work, couldn’t go out in the car due to travel sickness. At my age, I ask you!
Of course, this situation is ongoing. I have new pills that don’t seem to do anything and have yet to be referred to the ENT department at our local hospital.
In the meantime, I am reducing my computer time, as this seems to be the worst culprit. Looking on the bright side, I might get more writing done, away from the glare of that hypnotic screen!
I am determined not to vanish completely, as that will not do at all. I just wanted to let you know that things may look a bit different around here for a while…
Look to the Horizon
Black night when souls Fall beyond the horizon Chains crash like dark waves Against the shore Birds, pecking on glass Glass breaking Flesh torn Pierced through to the heart Is this the sound of war? The sound of sorrow? Hot tears like desert rain Taking life back to where it came Human dust fills the air Life is futile Time consists of silence The living weep All in vain… ©AnitaDawes2022
Speculative Fiction Prompt: February 2022
Kiss Time had not yet made a sound The world lay in waiting for the first breath For words to be spoken and life to awake Sound breaking the silence, life, as we know it, has begun We meet, we love, we live The years pass, winter has found us Cold hard like the world outside Angry words fill our days Love is hanging on a thread We barely talk, touching is long forgotten Time has frozen the love we once knew We live like ghosts under the same roof Love remembered keeps me here When you no longer want me Kiss me with poison on your lips... ©AnitaDawes2022
This beautiful poem comes from Shadows, Anita’s book of poetry…
The year of the Tiger brings bravery, wisdom and strength, all of the attributes I need right now.
I love tigers, so maybe this year will be wonderful after all…
(This post has been a long time coming, and at times I didn’t think I would be writing it)
Worry is a terrible thing, it steals the quality of life from right under your nose, reducing your world into a place of doom and gloom. We have been sitting on a massive worry these past six months and have refused to start the new year until we had good news.
I desperately tried to keep everything normal, finish my WIP and keep the website going, but I have to admit it was a poor imitation of the real thing, and I apologise for that.
I have not been sharing much of this with our friends and followers and this may seem strange after all your incredible support when Anita had that massive heart attack in 2020. Your love and good wishes pulled us through that terrible time, but when disaster struck again last year, it seemed far more serious, and we really felt that talking about it might make it worse.
Anita’s heart is still severely damaged, and despite having two stents and a pacemaker fitted, it only barely functions. When a series of lumps started to appear around her neck last year, the alarm bells started ringing again.
Because of the raging virus and all the hospital delays, it took months to have the lumps investigated. The consultant mentioned cancer and after deliberation, they finally decided to remove part of her thyroid. Surgery was a problem as they didn’t think her heart was strong enough, but they said that delaying it was not an option.
This was a nightmare time for all the family, especially Anita, for she can’t abide hospitals at the best of times. She has never been seriously ill and to be struck down by two life-threatening illnesses almost at the same time seems very unfair. She made it through this surgery without incident, but we had to wait two agonising weeks to get the results of the tests.
By this time, we were all terrified and sick with worry, dreading the news.
On the day of the appointment, I felt sick to my stomach but somehow kept a smile on my face. I think I held my breath when she was called into the consultant’s office, but five minutes later the door opened and she rushed out of the room, a massive smile on her face. We watched in amazement as she ran out of the ENT department to a standing ovation from the nurses.
By this time, we knew the news must be good, but I wanted to know how good. Just before we all reached the lifts, I caught her arm and made her stop walking. ‘Well,’, I said and waited.
She stood there laughing at me as if she just won the lottery, and I didn’t think she was going to say anything.
Quietly, and for the first time with a serious face, she looked at me and said, ‘there is no cancer…’
All the way home in the car, she kept repeating those words and her relief was wonderful to see. Despite the odds, her poor old ticker had survived the surgery and she was cancer-free.
But four days later, we had to rush to the hospital as she was having trouble breathing again. She is now back home, but it seems that worrying isn’t going anywhere after all.
She is looking better, although still very weak and breathless much of the time. The list of her medications grows ever longer, but … and you may have noticed this, none of what happened has stopped her writing her poetry.
Now all I have to do is get my own head back together!