For several weeks now, I have not been able to galvanise myself to do anything much.
For some reason, my enthusiasm and also my duty of care has been missing. My brain has been trying to opt out of any enthusiasm for anything, and I have hated every minute. This has been a strange state to find myself in, as I can usually manage to find just enough to get jobs done.
But… I found myself getting everything ready for a repotting session. The weather was good, and I wasn’t needed for anything, so I seemed to be operating in automatic mode as I chose the bonsai that seemed to want my help the most.
This could have been an awkward moment as there are almost twenty to choose from.
For some reason, I chose the Japanese Quince. The one had been unceremoniously dumped in a large flower pot and was currently sharing it with a huge clump of grass.
The wood pigeons had left a few flower buds alone, and it was bravely showing some slightly tattered scarlet flowers. Half an hour later, it was as if I hadn’t been among the missing, as I waded through the grass and soil to find the precious roots. Just like old times, I was soon up to my elbows in potting soil, as happy as Larry.
My mind was deliciously empty as I worked, nothing to think or worry about, and it felt wonderful. The Japanese Quince looked happier when I had finished too…
Almost without thinking, I tackled one I didn’t recognise, and started looking at the apple tree. This was very large and hadn’t been out of its pot for years. Probably the reason it hadn’t flowered this year. Tackling a bonsai this big was a challenge, but by now I was on a mission and set to it. I decided on a partial repot, removing 50% of the old soil and replacing it with new soil.
At this point, I realised I was pushing my luck, my energy levels were fading fast. But I felt rather pleased I had done something. Maybe now I had broken the ice, I could gradually make all the others happy too…
I desperately needed this time out, as I haven’t been looking forward to the hospital appointment on Wednesday. I nearly cancelled it, as the air of doom was beginning to choke me. But I have questions that must be answered, so whether they like it or not, I’m going…
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