I should have stayed in bed…

 

 

broken-eggs-1709044__340.jpg

Image by Pixabay.com

 

 

There are times when I know the universe is dead set against me.

It’s a sunny day until I step outside. There’s a sudden downpour.

When a dog leaves a parcel that’s not picked up by its owner

I will be the one to slip on it

If someone walks toward me, I sidestep, they do the same.

It’s like crashing into a mirror with a strange face looking at you

If a carrier bag load of shopping has a dodgy handle, its mine

So, it’s scrambled eggs tonight

I wish the universe had told me to stay in bed…

8888

#Jaye’s Journal ~ week 32

 

Jaye's Journal x12

 

image.png

Have you ever had one of those weeks when you have been so busy you haven’t had time to think?

Has your to-do pile grown so big you’re having nightmares about dealing with any of it?

At the end of every day do you wonder why you don’t seem to have achieved anything, despite being on the go all day?

Well, this week was the closest I have ever been to hell without getting burned. The stress levels in the family were at crisis level for a while and none of us coped with it very well.

The WIP (PayBack) is finally finished (I think) and I have just uploaded it to KDP as a draft, so I can have one final read through on Kindle. This is such a brilliant idea! It’s like reading someone else’s book!

Which is handy, because I was getting really fed up with constantly reading my printed copy. On Kindle, I should be able to spot anything that might have slipped through the net.

Time to start preparing the launch. I have been organising like crazy in my head and have a pile of notes on the subject, but now I must make all the right decisions, as PayBack might just be my last book and I want to do it proud, so to speak. Stopping writing doesn’t bear thinking about really, but I found this one so hard to write. I never thought I would ever stop, but the jury is out now, so who knows what will happen once the dust has settled.

First, I must get past the second of my cataract removals next week, and I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to being able to see properly again. The last few weeks have been a nightmare, what with the good eye fighting the bad one all the time. Everything I have been doing lately has been managed just a few inches from the PC screen. (I have been Mr Magoo for long enough) All of this was giving me serious headaches and my neck and back muscles are never going to forgive me.

The housework (what housework?)  has suffered and the garden is a mess, and to be honest, the mountain of outstanding jobs is beginning to look impossible to climb, but who knows, we must be in the running for at least one miracle.

Pity we don’t get to choose which one!

AAA (2)

#Wordle 415 #Poetry

img_9247.png

 

Wordle 415

The darkest hour is just before dawn

Your life, a lonely empty shell

Where ghosts dance

in the corner of your mind

You wake to the same old scar

That itches with the onset of rain

Your face in the mirror

Telling you your life is a sham

You dream of floating

two inches above the ocean waves

sea spray hitting your chest

a feeling of darts piercing your skin

you run from the call inside your head

an old memory that will not fade

you fit neatly inside

a shell of your own making

memories choke tears from your eyes

you wrap your face in a living sheet

to hide from the dark hours

believing there is no way

to lift your dying spirit…

Anita Signature

The Perfect Visit…

A man, a very good-looking man with soft brown eyes and warm, gentle hands, has just spent the best part of ten minutes touching my face and gazing adoringly into my eyes.

Well, the last part might just be an exaggeration on my part, but I can dream, can’t I? Overall, though, he made me feel like a real woman, an interesting, desirable woman, and that hasn’t happened in quite a while.

No mean feat really, as I am over seventy and as far from desirable as it is possible to get. But I’m sure he likes me. His face lights up when he sees me, and that smile would melt any woman’s heart. He constantly checks that I am okay, and I get the feeling that nothing would be too much trouble.

He is younger than I am, it’s true, but I hear this can be a good thing. He wants to see me again, and I must admit I feel the same. It is a very long time since anything like this has happened to me. So long in fact, that I can hardly remember the last time a man made me feel like this. As if I could trust him completely.

When it was time for me to go, it was with a great deal of regret on my part, and I thought I detected a similar sadness coming from him.
He made me promise to come back, and no question about it, I would be there with bells on.

This man had washed every less than perfect memory at the hands of others, away. All the pain and sorrow gone, as if none of that mattered anymore.

For the first time in my life, I had thoroughly enjoyed a visit to the dentist…

*************************

This week’s promo spot is for ‘Secrets’, a haunting family drama, all about the deeply buried guilt, secrets and suspicions that invade and control most of our lives.
About a child’s invisible friend, one that you assume will be outgrown eventually. But supposing this ‘friend’ seems hell bent on causing more than just childish mischief?

 

Save

Save

The Other Love… continued

 

Header Bonsai.png

 

The  Oak Tree

DSCF3173 (2).JPG

 

The weather had turned hot, not exactly digging weather and the oak was growing at the front of the house in full view of the sun.

I tried to judge when would be a good time to start, but it wasn’t looking good. The hot sun was constant, not losing heat until it began to set at around 7pm. I prayed for more cloud or even rain, as it wouldn’t be the first time I had been gardening in the pouring rain. In an emergency, I once put up 20 feet of fencing like that. If I need to do something, a little water will not stop me.

It doesn’t get dark until nearly 10pm, I would have three hours to get the job done.

 

When the time came, I had a few words with my target before I started digging. Not asking for a miracle or any cooperation, you understand, for I knew what I was in for. More to explain what I wanted to do. After all, this was an oak, once sacred and maybe still could be. It had been trying to grow in the wrong place for nearly 12 years, so although it was only two feet high, the roots would be extensive and most of them would be thick tap roots.

 

I started digging the trench around the tree again, meeting several large tap roots in the process. I severed these and kept digging. These were primarily for stability and wouldn’t be needed for what I had in mind.

The trench could only extend halfway around the tree for it was growing so close to our ancient wall. At this point, the job was beginning to look impossible. The trench was nearly 2 feet deep, but the tree wasn’t moving.

 

Time to start undercutting, so I produced my kneeling pad and set to work.

Several enormous tap roots later, there was still no movement and there had to be a reason. One last tap root was holding the tree in place, but I hadn’t spotted (or felt it) yet.

Despite the sun going down, it didn’t seem any cooler. I was dripping with sweat, very muddy and bleeding from several nasty gouges on both arms.

This oak wasn’t playing nice and I was exhausted, but not beaten or about to give up.

I cleared more soil to find the offending root.

 

My heart almost stopped when I found it. Covered in mud, it had been almost invisible and the size of it was incredible. It was the size of my arm!

Time to attack it with my branch saw.

 

I battled for another hour, determined to succeed in walking away with the sacred oak in my arms.

When it finally came free, I almost crawled around to my back yard, where I dumped it unceremoniously into a large bucket of water…

DSCF3179.JPG

 

Tune in later for what happened next…

AAA (2)

Editing the Hedge…

 

indexttii.jpg

 

I took the afternoon off the other day to cut the rather large and long hedge in our back garden. All the time I was doing it, my mind was editing the last chapter I had written that morning. My mind is like that, give it something to do that doesn’t involve a lot of thinking, and it will entertain itself.

Just down the road from me, someone has trimmed their hedge to look like a dragon. Must have been very difficult, and quite something to see.

As I was clearing up, piling all the cut leaves into my garden waste collection sack, I was struck yet again by the similarity to life that editing a book and trimming a hedge really is. You start with an untidy mess, overgrown and out of control. You look at it, wondering where to begin, doubtful of your ability/capability to do the job justice.

Plucking up the courage to begin, you chip away, trimming here, shortening there, trying to make it perfect. Standing back from it, you notice all the small things that need your attention, and you go back to it, determined to get it right.

At least that’s your intention.

 

DSCF0364.JPG

Not my best work!

 

 

Unfortunately, either the hedge in my garden is too long, or I am not as fit as once was, but the finished result was not perfect. Mostly down to the fact that the cordless hedge clipper ran out of juice long before I had finished. Yes, I know you can get electric ones, but having cut through three cables and narrowly missing frying my good self, I am giving them a wide berth!

Thankfully, editing a manuscript is a lot easier than trying to trim a seven foot high, thirty foot long monster of a hedge.

Thank God for that at least.

AAA (2)

Jaye’s Journal ~ week 29

 

Jaye's Journal x12

 

There have been so many ups and downs this week, and I’m giddy.

The first few days I couldn’t do right for doing wrong. Jobs I do on a regular basis were going wrong and as for some of the new stuff I am trying to learn, don’t ask.

At one point I thought my brain must have gone for a walk, as I couldn’t understand a bloody word!

This was bad enough, but then I discovered that some of the work I thought I had managed to do, was in fact, rubbish. Add to all of that, I was trying desperately to get used to Windows 10 and a new version of Word too, and everywhere I went, everything seemed to have been updated or changed, sometimes for the worse. My life was becoming unbearable (as a writer/blogger anyway!)

So, during all of this, when I turned up at the hospital for the post-surgery check up on my new eye, I was delighted to be told it had healed beautifully and was behaving brilliantly. Not that I was getting the benefit much as the other eye seems worse by comparison. I seem to spend most of my time with one eye shut, but at least something had turned out all right.

The next few days were a strange mixture of joy and confusion as my good news was slowly suffocated by everything malfunctioning. This Windows 10 is the devils work and my laptop seems to be joining forces with it, almost convincing me to find a better way to spend my time!

What kept me going was the determination to rescue that Oak sapling and encourage it to be a bonsai. I knew this would be hard to do, but the idea wouldn’t leave me alone…

Tune in later this week for how it all went!

AAA (2)

 

#Wordle ~ 412

 

Where is the rain when you need it?

We are still trying to grow

food for the seven nations

Listen to the rattle of the empty plate

As mother sits to tell her stories

Playing with a piece of string

Trying to make a change

Where the rain will not fall

There is no humility in starving…

Anita Signature

A Valuable Lesson…

 

PB Template 6x9_BW_330.png

KDP Template

 

 

I learned a valuable lesson this week.

Turns out I was wrong to assume that Lulu.com (the paperback people) and Amazon would get their act together and show the PB copies of our books alongside the e-book editions.

To be fair, I think I must accept some of the blame for this, as I used to change our book covers all the time, as I was never happy with them. This probably upset the applecart somewhere along the line.

It shouldn’t make any difference; I hear you saying and you’re probably right. After all, if they allow you to make these changes, they should be prepared to fulfil their side of things and do it properly, don’t you think?

Over the years I have been involved in this amazing self-publishing world, I have learned not to assume that just because people say something will happen, it very often doesn’t.

 

This all came about because I happened to click on one of our paperbacks on Amazon, only to find it had one of the old covers showing. I have never thought to do this before, for if I want to buy one of our paperbacks I go to Lulu, where they are cheaper for authors.

Then I checked the rest of them, only to find out four more had old covers and two weren’t there at all.

I checked our account on Lulu.com and all our PB books were present and correct.  But when I asked why they weren’t all on Amazon, they didn’t understand my problem.???

So, I asked Amazon the same question only to be told that I didn’t have an account with them.???

 

Round about now I was rapidly losing the will to live. I knew that Amazon/CreateSpace had this facility where you could make a paperback edition, but I also remembered this involved a one-piece cover, something I had no idea how to do. Imagine my surprise when I discovered things had changed since their merger and it was now possible to make a one-piece cover using our own cover images. This was wonderful news, the only drawback was, the background colour is black. Which is fine is it goes with your cover image, but I wish there was a way to change that. Maybe there is, and I just haven’t found it yet.

 

To cut a long story short, I have been busy making covers on KDP with Amazon, and removing our books from Lulu.com…

 

PayBack Poster x 1.jpg

 

And on a more serious note, PayBack is with the beta reader this week, so getting nearer to launch day. I will be posting about this as soon as the dust settles!

AAA (2)