I didn’t think my life could get any worse, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Since I collapsed, semi-paralysed last March, I have often wondered why that happened and why I had suddenly become so weak. Despite my colourful medical history, I have always managed to bounce back from some of the worst health conditions. I haven’t really done the weak and helpless bit, so you can imagine my frustration.
During the last twelve months, I have fought long and hard to regain some strength and have almost achieved what seemed impossible at the time. Almost, but not quite there yet, as the weakness is still there, hiding in plain sight. I am the only one who knows how much I have struggled to keep it hidden.
So, finding out about the aortic aneurysm was a shock, and when they stated that I am just not fit enough for surgery made it so much worse. But little did I know there was more to come. Two weeks ago, I had an MRI on my head to find out why I have been having such awful headaches, earache, and vision problems. When time went by, and I didn’t hear anything, I assumed they hadn’t found anything, and that was the end of that.
So when I received a letter from the hospital at the weekend, with details of another aneurysm in my brain, my world literally imploded. It was only when I researched this kind of aneurysm that I discovered this had probably been the cause of all my weakness and fatigue of the past year, and probably the reason for the aortic aneurysm too.
Somehow, it would seem that they need to solve one problem to help sort out the other. So, I am now in the care of the Neurology department at the hospital and awaiting news of appointments and treatments. Time is not on my side, but I hope it changes its mind and helps out when and where it can.
When all this was happening, I reached the very bottom of my endurance. Quite frankly, I accepted that I was going to die eventually, and although this was a very sad scenario, I accepted it. But now, I know there could be a way to fix me; I am so much more cheerful.
Hope has given me back my will to live, and I will be hanging on to that with everything I have…
Leave a Reply