#Jaye’s Journal… Enjoying a happy moment!

 

Jaye's Journal x12.jpg

 

I have been escaping to the garden more and more lately. The weather has been slowly improving, so I should be able to start working on that very long list of jobs that need to be done.

The need to escape, even to the garden, has been gradually building as the news of this evil virus gets worse.

Everyone is getting edgy, wondering how bad it might get. I have always been an optimist, but I can feel it straining to assert itself.

The shops are empty, and the worry swings between getting sick or starving to death. Some choice, eh?

But… (changing the subject, as I’d rather not dwell on things I can’t do much about)

My bonsai are waking up and this never fails to cheer me up, although this year it seems to be just a little subdued.

DSCF3369.JPG

My Acer says hello…

I have been busy making sure I have everything I need for the repotting marathon, and the wood for the new shelving should be delivered soon.

The rain-sodden grass has been trying to dry out and although I didn’t feel like cutting it, I thought I had better get to it. Just as well I did, for it poured with rain the following day.

DSCF3383 (2).JPG

The rest of the garden is waking up too and did my heart good to see my favourites have survived for another year.

DSCF3374 (2).JPG

My favourite Camelia

DSCF3376 (3).JPG

Not sure what this is called, but I love it!

DSCF3381 (2).JPG

Forsythia, everyone’s favourite

Back indoors I try to come to terms with the virus situation. I can forget everything when I’m in the garden, but it waits for me the minute I come back in.

So many things are likely to change and to be honest, I’m terrified. The situation gets worse every day, yet no one seems to know how bad it will get.

Every time I wash my hands, I think about the people who have already died and pray there won’t be many more.

That a miracle will arrive and save us all…

 

©Jaye Marie 2020

 

This is me, being positive…

 

Thinking, is it ever a good thing to do…

I have been told that thinking is a dangerous thing to do at my age.  It is possibly a dangerous thing to do at any age, if you think about it, for who knows where it may lead?

But I quite like thinking, and all the things that trigger it off. Like books and pictures for instance. What I could do with is some method of retaining said thoughts, as they usually evaporate like so much smoke, never to be seen again. I make notes on everything in a vain hope of remembering all the good stuff, and it works some of the time.

Then I am told ‘what do you expect, at your age?

But this is the difficult part. My mind does not feel old, even though it seems to have more holes in it than my favourite cheese, and when I see or read something that stirs my imagination, I am back in my prime, having a sneaky feeling that this is not all there is for me.

Sometimes I must admit that I really don’t want any more, I am too tired to even consider the possibility. But then there are the other days– days when you forget just how old, and how stiff you are and that you find it difficult just going to the shops and back.
Days when you choose to ignore the sands of time slipping through your fingers and find yourself considering the most amazing possibilities.

Of course, this may be what happens as you approach old age. I don’t know, I have no experience or knowledge of it, not having done it before.

But if you can think, you can dream. And if you can dream I believe you can do anything… at any age!

©Jaye Marie 2020

How do you get rid of the elephant in the room?

 

Last week was such a frustrating time for me, for so many reasons and the end of my rope seems to be getting ever closer.

These good and bad days I swear would try the patience of a saint. This is something I have never professed to be, so maybe I had it coming. Despite the frustration, I approached the new WIP, only to find an alien pile of scribblings that looked only vaguely familiar. I read the last thing I wrote but nothing happened, no clear direction, nothing. I went back even further, with the same results. My heart sank to the floor as it was beginning to look as though I would have to start again.

At this point, my brain nearly went crazy. I wanted to cry, scream, or leave the building and couldn’t make up my mind which. Fortunately, I have a running storyboard of sorts, with a tenuous thread running to the end, something I have not done before, so I studied it, desperately seeking inspiration.

But my brain wouldn’t budge.

Maybe, I thought, had I chosen the wrong genre?  I wanted to deviate a little and drop the crime element. Try something that didn’t need detectives crawling all over it, like a psychological thriller.

By now, I was beginning to feel as though I had lost whatever writing ability I thought I had, along with my brain and my muse. Not that she has ever been a great help to me, more the opposite really. She can argue the hind legs off a donkey and can always find at least three reasons why something won’t work, so I’m not missing her half as much as the contents of my brain.

All this confusion has triggered off some very serious thinking about my future in the cyberworld. Not sure if it’s me or has everything suddenly become more complicated? I am forgetting things more and more and find myself doing the oddest of things (like trying to put the kettle in the fridge) so perhaps it is me.

This needs a lot more thought (if this is even possible these days) so will see you all next week with hopefully some better ideas for the future!

©Jaye Marie 2020

 

 

 

 

Another Chance to read Ancient Evil…

 

This was our first contribution for Diana Wallace Peach monthly word prompt Challenge! Such an awe-inspiring image…

Image by Stephan Keller

Ancient Evil…

The frozen face of a still white moon

Hung against the starless sky

Remembering Zolon crouched below

His hand clenched on ancient evil

Where men were swallowed

Bones crushed by ice white teeth…

                      ©anitadawes 2020

Do You have a House Guest…

 

Today my thoughts melt back to days of candyfloss…

Thinking of my parents and holidaying in Cornwall.  I was ten years old again, remembering stories of elves, pixies and fairies.

And the day I met my houseguest,  Sparrow.

It took a while getting to know his name, he didn’t like to be looked at straight on and the side view wasn’t as comfortable. If I dared to look, he would vanish. He stood about two feet tall, and a shiny blue light followed him, almost as though he lived inside a bubble. I always spoke in a low voice but it was years before he spoke to me.

He communicated by writing in the dust around the house. That makes it sound as though I am a filthy so and so, but let me tell you, there is always dust about, no matter how often you try to rid yourself of it.

I left one table in my study undusted, just for him and took photographs each time he left something for me to read. I asked so many questions, not knowing if he could hear me. Why are you here, why are you alone? Do I imagine you here?

He said he belonged to the house, something the estate agent couldn’t tell me about. That he wasn’t alone, he had a family here, but didn’t mind sharing this space I call home.

You see, the space around us isn’t empty, there is always something there.

You have seen it, that little something that flashes by that you cannot quite see, you felt it there, didn’t you?

You shake your head and keep moving, telling yourself it is nothing. Just the light, dancing the wrong way.

Take a closer look, you might have a house guest…

©Anita Dawes

#ThrowbackThursday ~ The Life of a Writer… with advice from @AriMeghlen

 

The life of a writer is not what I thought it would be in the beginning.

Maybe years ago it was what I imagined, but in these digital times, it has changed so radically from that idyllic, if rather a romantic notion of what being a writer would be like.

These days, we all wear so many different hats, it’s a wonder we get around to writing anything.

What with the constant struggle to come up with interesting posts; reviewing all the books we read; trying to find new and effective promotional ideas.

Not to mention all the thinking, worrying, emails and planning, there are not enough hours in the day!

So when I read Ari Meghlen’s post on organising your life better, my interest was aroused! In this post, she recommends assigning different days for specific jobs and not deviating from this agenda. This could work, but not sure about using an alarm clock to keep me on track!

I have long attempted to devise a routine that would help me to get more done, but the harder I try, the more complicated and slower I seem to get.

I have always had a problem with rules and restrictions. Or rather, fate seems to, on my behalf. The minute I decide on a certain idea, a timetable or schedule, you can just bet something or someone will come along and wreck it!

I try to be more productive, especially with my writing, and one of the ways I have found that actually works is to try and write 1000 words every day. As I am up long before anyone else in my family, I can usually manage this with ease. So in one area at least, I have it covered!

Ari has some good ideas HERE on her post; does anyone else have anything to suggest that would improve the lives of us desperate to be better organised writers?

Ghosts of the Past…

 

 

I was looking back through some old posts and found this one, written at the end of 2012. This was when the madness began…

 

2012: My New Year Resolution!

Next year I have decided (this is Jaye, by the way. Anita is busy writing!) that I will become more adept with all this technology. I have been stumbling along, picking up bits of information here there and everywhere and have come to glorious conclusion that my efforts are not quite good enough. Close, but no cigar, to quote Anita.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think I have learnt a massive amount of stuff in my stumbling’s but if we want to be successful in any way at all, I have to learn more. This will not be easy, for at my age (69) my brain cells are dying faster than I can count! I have never liked computers, I think they were invented by the devil to drive us all insane. But the reason I persist (apart from the fact that I am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet) is that my mind cannot accept the fact that the devil is possibly cleverer than I am at using a computer.

It’s only a machine, I tell myself.

It’s do-able, so do it.

Other people do it and do it well. So can I.

Really?

Who am I kidding?

Myself unfortunately. But I digress. I can do anything I set my mind to, always have. Might take me forever, or might have to modify what I wanted in the first place, but I usually get there. (Once I have driven everyone bonkers in the mean time!)

Now for some back patting…

In 2012, I learnt how to upload Anita’s books onto Amazon. (And you don’t want to know how long that took!)

After that, I uploaded them all to Smashwords. (Difficult, but worth it, amazing people!)

I even managed to create a paperback copy of one of our books with Createspace. (Don’t ask!)
I had a go at designing our own covers, but need to improve a hell of a lot!

Created this blog site, but still not sure I am doing it right (or even if I am happy with it!)
But as I said earlier, it’s all out there in 2013 and all I have to do is find it and make it work.
How hard can it be

 

I was looking for inspiration and usually manage to find small nuggets of the stuff in our old files and posts. I needed to find a substantial amount of it, as my mind was a less than delightful blank! My only excuse is that our house is fighting the flu bug, and intelligent thought was the first casualty!

I wanted to sum up the past year, wax lyrical about how much better 2019 was going to be, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of anything worth writing about. 2018 was a disappointing year, a wall-to-wall struggle if I am honest. We were out of our depth for most of it, playing catch-up and pretending everything was fine but we were nowhere as productive as we wanted to be. So if the New Year was going to be more of the same, I don’t think we had the heart to soldier on.

Reading that old post and feeling the excitement of our beginning, made me sit up and wonder where all that excitement has gone. Where was my determination to crack the code that would open the door to our success?

I was sure it couldn’t have gone completely and was probably lurking around somewhere, but I had searched for it and come up empty, leaving me feeling sad and frustrated. I mean, I had a book to finish, a very long to-do list and a pile of fascinating and helpful articles and information to wade through. There was also that list of dreams ideas for trailers, posters and promotions.

Full of germs and feeling terrible, I wasn’t really in the mood to try and put our world back to rights, but I knew I wanted to, needed to if I was honest. There was no way we were going to stop, so I have three days to pull myself together, ready to step into 2019.

Not much has changed since then but surely something must have?

Do you ever look back to see how far you have come?

©Jaye Marie 2020

 

 

 

 

Memory of a Kiss… #Poetry

Our tribute to Valentine’s Day tomorrow!

Kiss

My final chapter here at last

Alas, I am no longer, I have passed.

Let me tell you, the stories from above

Are quite true. If you stick a pin in

It will go right through

My body left below you see

No longer any use to me.

I am new, improved,

And light as candyfloss

Yet I am still me.

A ghost or spirits we are called

So let me tell you this

If you call my name

I will blow my love back on a kiss

You will feel it when soft winds blow

To remind you all still is…

 

©anitadawes 2020

 

Cruise Control…

boat-2387790_1920.jpg

Image by AnnaD15n3y from Pixabay

Do you, like me, have an uneasy feeling about 2020?

After nearly three weeks of struggling to get going and constantly meeting all kinds of resistance, I am on the verge of deciding to swap the big dream for a series of smaller ones.

I already knew this year would be full of changes, most of which won’t be pleasant. In order to cope with these changes, I must regroup somehow and simplify my writing/blogging and life in general in order to cope with the chaos. Cruise control if you will, so I can somehow manage to survive.

You can’t keep on fighting if you’re getting nowhere, especially in times of stress, so it’s time to find the path of least resistance which in my case, means reverting to baby steps.

para one.png

I had wondered how long it would take for the old demon to infect my new PC, but it’s back! Endless buffering, broken links, missing images, you name it and it ruins my blogging day. The worst part of it all, is I’m not altogether sure what the problem is.

Apart from ruining my mood, I can soon lose concentration when things refuse to work properly. I mean, what is the point of it all?

I thought that by admitting to myself that I wasn’t coping, this would resolve the problem, but this wasn’t good enough apparently.

The baby elephant in the room is insisting I do something!

para one.png

There are some problems you can track down and find a reason for and hopefully fix, so I have been busy double checking everything.

I discovered I needed to verify my Microsoft account. This surprised me, for surely, I did all this when I first uploaded the new pc, just a few months ago?

You need a mobile phone to obtain the code, but I don’t have one, so enlisted help from the family. Job done, and pc seems to be working better, so hopefully peace will reign for a while!

As for the situations I can do nothing about, I have decided to alter my attitude towards them and adopt more positivity.

No point arguing or getting upset. Changes will have their way and we will live to see the dust begin to settle again…

 

©JayeMarie 2020