I am not fond of the house we live in.
It is a vast improvement to where we lived before, and why we moved.
But… life here is getting harder. The stairs are a struggle for my arthritic knees. It gets too hot in the summer because the insulation in the loft is ancient. We freeze in the winter because we only have a few ancient storage heaters. Parking is another nightmare because we live on a busy and noisy main road!
Just lately, I am feeling an infinity with the place as it starts to show its age. Which leads me to wonder how much longer we can live here. I long to live near woods or water, preferably both…
Serious cracks are appearing on walls and ceilings, and ominous creaks follow me up and down the stairs, and not just from my knees!
The chimney stack on the roof is supported by steel bands, but chunks of brickwork rain down into our yard on a regular basis.
Doors swing closed all by themselves and the bathroom floor slopes like the Swiss alps.
This house was built in 1887, which makes it 134 years old. So, how old is too old for a domestic domicile?
I suppose there will come a time when the cost of repairs or renovation will become a bridge too far. A bit like me?
I take vitamins, fish oil, turmeric and as healthy a diet as I can manage, and attempt yoga every day, but am I doing any good? And when did I switch from being a silver surfer into a
mouldy golden oldie?
How long before I get condemned, along with the house?
There are Gods that have no light
They live in darkness
Dwell on sorrow, feed on fear
They drop nightmares like rain
We never feel them enter our minds
We never see the dark shadow
that falls across our soul
Nor hear the dark composer of our thoughts
When fear calls, we stand to attention
Dark whispers scratch the mind
Push us forward when we should turn away
How hard is it, to just say no…?
© anita dawes 2020
This is how Silent PayBack began…
For more than a week now, I have had this new character in my head. He has been following me around, watching my every move. I have tried to talk to him, in my head, you understand, but he has this enigmatic smile, and that’s all I get from him.
I think he wants me to figure out what to do with him, guess what he wants to do but so far, my brain is siding with him and refusing to cooperate.
This morning, I decided I would try to interview him, something I have done before with several of my characters, but you guessed it, he wouldn’t even sit down!
All I know so far is that I do want to write about him, and if I must go through hoops to do it, so be it!
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod just then, so it would seem the game is on…
At first glance, he seems an unlikely hero, at least for one of my books. Not very tall, and slender with dark eyes and long hair tied back in a ponytail. Simply dressed in a dark shirt and jeans. But there is an aura about him, he could be a magician, magically producing doves from balls of tissue or flowers from thin air.
He has moved a little closer. I seem to have his full attention…
He is probably something in law enforcement, a police officer or detective, or why would he have turned up on my doorstep? I get killers too, but somehow I know he isn’t one of them. I hadn’t intended to write another crime thriller, I fancied a change, something haunting or spooky perhaps.
There is another character in my head, and although this one looks harmless, all blonde and attractive, the boy next door type. But I know instinctively that he means trouble. Are these two men destined to cross swords? I am beginning to think they are…
I have a lot of thinking imagining to do and to save confusion; I will call the dark haired one David and the blonde William. I already know they are two very different people, and discovering what they are about will be very interesting…
And the rest, as they say, is history…
©Jaye Marie 2020
It was another Monday morning in front of the computer and I was asking myself the same old question. Why do I bother with any of it? Anything that could possibly go wrong usually does, and it was getting a bit wearing. Then my inner voice decided to join in the conversation.
Everyone feels like this sometimes, you are not unique you know…
Yes, I know we all have days when we think everything conspires against us, and life seems futile. Doesn’t help though.
You sound like a drama queen, one who is prone to over exaggeration…
I don’t think I have imagined the succession of near disasters that have played havoc with my life this year?
Okay, I will admit there have been one or two, but nothing to write home about…
How about my inability to successfully market anything. You have to admit I am hopeless?
Could be you’re just not smart enough, for it’s not exactly rocket science…
I can buy that one, for the results of my efforts speak for themselves.
You seem to be forgetting that you are OLD. That feeling of circling the drain is quite normal at your age you know…
There are days when I would agree, but others when I still feel competent enough for the job in hand.
But which of these days are the real ones, and not the ones that are the result of your own stupidity?
I know I have a few shortcomings, but there are also circumstances that are beyond my control.
Beyond your mental capacity, you mean…
A fine Jiminy Cricket you turned out to be, where is all the optimism, the encouragement?
I can only work with the material I have at my disposal. It’s not my fault if your grey matter isn’t up to scratch…
You know, all of this could be academic if my health gets any worse. I’m sure you have to agree that I am not imagining that?
I know it does all seem very real, but you have beaten the odds before, and will do again, I’m sure…
So, you would conduct my life differently, would you? You are coming across as a smug know-it-all, but you don’t drop any hints any more, do you? Isn’t that supposed to be part of your remit?
After a lifetime of trying my best for you, literally thousands of hints later, I have run out of ideas. Banging my head against a wall is definitely not my scene…
So I am on my own now, you are retiring?
You still have your instincts, even though they malfunction far too often. It has brought you this far, however…
“Some of us get to choose how we live our lives, whether to depend on our conscience, or wing it with instinct.
Heaven knows which is best, and I think it also knows what will happen to us. I could do with a ‘heads up’ round about now…”
COLLEEN’S 2020 WEEKLY #TANKA TUESDAY #POETRY CHALLENGE NO. 197, #SPECIFICFORM: Tanka
It’s the fifth Tuesday of the month! This is our chance to work with a specific syllabic poetry form. So, take this opportunity to learn more about the particular form. You can use any subject, theme, or words to convey your message.
This week’s form is:
My five-year-old asked
Do flowers grow in heaven?
How do I answer
When I haven’t been there yet
Her unanswered question lingered…
when the real face
of the moon is revealed.
Will fortunes change
While worlds collide?
Will we break like thin glass?
The fallen pieces scar the earth
I sit beneath the last tree
Wondering what fool
Tried to shoot the moon…
This is what was hiding inside that bud!
I love poppies!
Time is a double-edged sword
It makes slaves of us all
Even when we’d rather sit and read and a book
it’s there, pushing at the edge of your mind
I really should be doing the washing
The grass needs cutting.
You can’t get away from it
Pushing you forward
Poking you in the back
If you could freeze one moment of your time
Which would you like to play over again?
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Quite a lot of people are going on about #Five Things these days.
Five things I had for lunch, or
Five things I did last summer, even
Five things I didn’t do yesterday.
Not seen Five Things I shouldn’t have done yet but suspect it won’t be long.
Today I saw “Five Things I Hate about Summer” and as that seems to be my mindset this morning, I started to doodle.
- Dry heat
- Sticky heat
- Damp heat
- Dripping heat
- Heat exhaustion!
Seriously though, I am delighted that the heat wave here in the UK has decided to trot off at last, and here are the #Five Things I Really Hate About Summer.
- the overpowering heat robs you of energy
- the grass turns into Weetabix, all dead and crunchy
- the leaves on the trees wilt and start to turn yellow
- the rose petals fall after just one day
- the hot nights make sleep impossible
I’m sure you could think up better points than this, just tag it when you post!