questions

To Write…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 1 Comment

That is the question…

At the end of last week, I summoned up a ton of enthusiasm for my so-called writing life and the future of my current WIP. I say so-called, for it hasn’t amounted to much so far this year. There have been a few lively patches of activity, which I thoroughly enjoyed, followed by periods of other such business.

Commonly called life, although I really wish it wouldn’t bother me as I can do without it. This week, for instance, has filled up over the weekend with repairmen, doctor visits and a visiting relative, culminating in Milo’s vet appointment for the snip and chip.

It could be worse, I suppose, as the minute the weather gets warmer, I will need to show my face out there and go through the motions of being a gardener. It has to happen soon, I suppose.

All this lack of writing progress has happened because I have lost my early morning window. This was when I would be the only one awake, and for at least two hours, the writing world would be my oyster.

I have tried to cultivate an evening slot, but I am so tired by then that it hasn’t happened yet. It is beginning to look like I must choose between promoting and/or advertising to get the job done.

Of course, all of this is most distressing, as I have always managed to cope with as many irons in the fire as needed.

Added to all of this is the certain knowledge that time is definitely speeding up.

There used to be time to think, for a start…

Jaye’s Days…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 23 Comments

This might be a new year and all that, but am I the only one who feels like
their magic spark has gone out?

I have been blaming this feeling on health and other problems, but maybe
something else is going on?

We are constantly told that reading more will make us better writers and
that we should blog with enthusiasm to build up our presence on the web. But I
find that some of the things we do seem counterproductive and time-consuming.
Confusion is not a happy place to be, so my brain has rooted out its thinking
hat. Not sure if that might be an oxymoron!

Don’t get me wrong, reading does make me think and probably improves my
vocabulary, but sometimes I end up reading too much, taking time away from my
writing. When I first started blogging, I read everything I could get my hands
on, desperate to learn the secrets of the black magic box of the blogosphere.

And admittedly, I learnt a lot.

Just lately, though, I have noticed a slight change in my attitude to all
things blog related. It suddenly dawned on me that, as bloggers, we are trying
far too hard to be the best at what we do with our constant searching for the
golden egg. And because we are so busy running around like headless chickens,
we are losing sight of our focus, the real reason we blog in the first place.
We might even be missing the plot or choosing all the wrong moves.

I have been worried that there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to
do everything. With the increasing amount of emails and time spent on social
media, there isn’t much left for writing or blogging, come to that. Not to
mention any new ideas that need to be explored or any of our other interests.

It could be time to step away and have a long hard look at what we do. Time
to prioritise and cherry pick what we really want to concentrate on, or even
find different ways of doing it. Don’t ask me what, for my brain hasn’t gone
that far, yet. I just know it is time for something new, exciting even. How
about that?

Life might be different when the weather settles down, but I doubt it. I
think we must concentrate on what we can do and do well, instead of chasing so
many rainbows…

What does everyone else think?

 

 

Not One of my Better Days…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 33 Comments

We waited nearly an hour in the waiting room before it was my turn to see a member of the cardiology team. I was a nervous wreck then, but I tried to answer his questions sensibly without rambling on.

After running a stethoscope over my chest and checking my swollen feet, he turned to the computer and brought up the images from the angiogram I had back in August. He studied these images for several minutes, allowing me to see them myself.

It was weird watching my blood travelling through the arteries. I saw the stent that had saved my life all those years ago.

The verdict was coming, but I didn’t want to hear it as I knew the next step would probably be a bypass, involving opening my ribs to get to the heart of the problem. Sorry about that; I couldn’t help it!

I didn’t fancy that much, even though, if successful, I would be back to normal and be okay. But I wasn’t prepared for what he did say.

My heart, apparently, was quite happy, as some of the other arteries had rallied around and taken over the job of the blocked one, supplying my ticker with the blood it needed. This is something that usually happens on the right side of the heart. He did add that this, although handy, was not ideal as they would prefer to fix the problem properly…

I took a deep breath and waited for him to continue.

… only not someone of my advancing years. But…

He looked puzzled when he said that, and there always has to be a but, doesn’t there?

My symptoms of severe fatigue and breathlessness, in his opinion, didn’t fit with my heart’s current state and could mean that something else was going on. He added that he would arrange for me to have a stress test, where they put my heart through hoops to see its reaction.

He seemed happy with his decision, but I wasn’t quite finished yet.

I had to ask the million-dollar question.

“If you do find anything, what will that mean?”

“Then we would be forced to operate…”

I hope I don’t have to wait four months for this appointment!

Listening to music has helped me to cope with all of this, so I wanted to share one of my favourites with you all…

Time for a Change?

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 18 Comments

Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

At this time of year, we usually talk about the new year and what we might expect or plan to do with it, but honestly, for once we cannot be asked. We will carry on as normal, rather than waiting to see if it will be worth getting out of bed. I mean, the New Year could simply be waiting to start being brilliant!

Since we began blogging in 2012, we have done rather well considering how much there was to learn. However, we have the feeling we won’t progress any further until we find new areas to develop. We also need to figure out what else we need to know, for we haven’t sold a huge amount of books. Luckily, the writing is going well so that is something to build on.

Maybe our goal for 2023 should be to stop worrying, slow down a bit and smell the roses?

I usually feel sad on New Year’s Eve, but I have a feeling I won’t this year, for it has been a right old mixed bag of pain, frustration and depression, with hardly any good bits!

I normally open all the doors as Big Ben chimes at midnight to allow the old year to limp away. This year I will be sorely tempted to help it on its way with my foot!

Come on in 2023 and show us all a little more peace and joy, pretty please?

November #BlogBattle: Cultivate

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 27 Comments

At the beginning of 2022, I had the overwhelming notion of cultivating something. Something I had never had much luck with before.

I chose tomatoes.

I had always wanted to do this, but previous efforts had always failed for one reason or another. This time, I was sure we would grow our own tomatoes.

I researched all the different types of tomatoes, confident I would make the right choice. Several packets of seeds arrived in the post, and I started to gather all the pots and soil I would need.

This was all happening when the year was young and hadn’t yet acquired that air of doom and gloom that would eventually descend and taint everything.

I felt like a proper gardener as I prepared the pots and planted the seeds. Every day I would inspect them, waiting eagerly to see the first pale new shoots appearing. I remember being so happy when the first seedlings broke through the soil.

Just one week later, I went outside to see my charges, to be met with the scene of a disaster. Something had attacked the pots, and the ground was littered with displaced soil and battered seedlings. I tried my best to replant them all, but inside, I was seething. Who or what had done this?

It seemed to take a long time for the seedlings to recover, and I secretly waited for them to curl up their toes and give up the fight. To be honest, that’s what I wanted to do, as my dream had been spoiled.

Slowly, they did recover and grew taller. Soon the pale yellow star-shaped flowers appeared, shortly followed by tiny tomatoes. Whether it was being so cruelly disturbed, the lack of sunshine, or the absence of luck, these tomatoes never grew very big. Disappointingly small, although definitely sweet.

I still wonder what had sabotaged my efforts and whether I will try again next year…

©JayeMarie2022

WIP Wednesday…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 18 Comments

I thought I would get to the end of my current WIP, Ghost of a Chance, yesterday…

BUT…

I expect many of you have reached this point, only to have the same thing happen to you.

In my head, one by one, each character had a but, and to be fair, they were legitimate buts.

Consequently, I spent the evening reviewing their ideas. I realised the story was nowhere near finished.

I eventually switched off my brain and went to bed after scribbling several pages of notes and detailed plans for at least three more chapters. As I fell asleep, I knew why this had happened. It had happened before with one of my earlier books. After staring at the story, day after day, I had become obsessed with coming to the end, as if this would magically be the answer. Of course, it never is. On that earlier occasion, the ending I came up with was rushed, and it showed. Badly…

Endings are so essential to get right. It’s a shame they came at a time when we wish we hadn’t started…

Is this bad habit just me, or have any of you had this problem?

I Used to be Strong…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 11 Comments
Image by edith lüthi from Pixabay
I used to be strong

Invincible, unbreakable, and fearless
That seemed so long ago now
I can no longer remember how it felt
Maybe it was a dream after all
Or someone I used to know

I used to think I could do anything

Was this something I imagined?
Looking back at my life 
I could be seeing someone else 
someone who doesn't look like me
Doing things, I never did

I used to imagine a better life

Where pain and sorrow never belonged
A life full of joy and happiness
A life of peace and contentment
Where did my careful imaginings go?
Was I considered unworthy?

©JayeMarie2022

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend, whatever you get up to!

I’m Thinking…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 8 Comments

The words of Anita’s poem today, What Remained, have set me thinking.

Really thinking, something I don’t think I have been doing much of lately.

I have a really good built-in autopilot, so sometimes I don’t need to switch my brain on, and most of the time it works well, especially if I don’t feel well. (Like lately!)  Just don’t ask me what I have been doing all day, because I won’t be able to tell you!

I must be getting better, for I am definitely thinking.

Those words have me wondering what will come after I have gone. Have I created anything worth being remembered for?

I like to think I have done my best so far, even though the last two years have been a nightmare, coping with the pandemic, being a carer and everything else… but it doesn’t seem like the best to me, so I think that is what my brain is trying to tell me.

I know from past experience that it is possible to create anything with enough determination, even when it feels impossible.

However, it is never easy, and the only reason I mention it is that I remember how I felt afterwards. I think I need to feel that again, so planning a think up weekend to see what I can come up with…

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, with lots of good things and great thoughts!

The Sunday Whirl ~ Wordle 554

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 3 Comments 
Thunder woke my sleep
Lightning turned my room translucent
As if I were dreaming
There is order in the world I am told
I freeze, this is different
There in the light I could see forms, people
Are they on a journey? 
passing through our world?
Guided by the power of lightening
I search their faces, wondering
If there could be someone I know
It is spellbinding, I am drawn to them
They are pointing north, 
as if trying to tell me something
So much in a flash of lightning
I took it to be a sacred moment
If it is something I am meant to know
It will come to me…

©AnitaDawes2022