These past months, I have been concentrating really hard on what I thought was the job in hand—getting stronger and finding myself again.
Just lately, though, less positive thoughts have been creeping into my head. I do my level best to dismiss these thoughts, considering them detrimental to my recovery.
All things considered, I am pleased with my progress. I can do so many things now that I thought were gone for good.
But… I seem to have hit the proverbial plateau.
No matter how much I exercise, I cannot extend the distance I can walk, stand, or even think about going upstairs. I can do all of these things in my mind, but my body is quick to let me know what will happen if I try too hard. I was lucky I didn’t get a brain injury the last time I thought I could do something.
I had a long chat with my doctor the other day, and she is going to arrange a follow-up appointment at the hospital to discuss why I haven’t made a better recovery. The pain in my spine is still there, and the weakness in my legs is returning. So, my journey is nowhere near finished yet.
Back to those negative thoughts I mentioned earlier. Supposing this is as good as I can get at my age?
I don’t feel old, even now when I can’t stand or walk more than a few steps. And it’s beginning to look like I should be pruning my other ambitions too…
Best wishes… Jaye 💖
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