More Bad News…

We have been dreading getting this new virus fo the last two years, and as time has passed, it seemed to have given us a miss.

So when number one son came home with it, we knew we would probably get it too.

Most people only get a mild version, so we thought we would too.

Unfortunately, our age and medical histories are working against us, and we had no idea just how ill we would become. We are still testing positive and feeling dreadful, and beginning to wonder if we will manage to walk away from this virus after all.

We have always been fully paid up members of the ‘fake it until you make it’ brigade, so will try to fool this virus into thinking it is time to move on, by carrying on as though nothing has happened…

from Anita and Jaye XX

Coming to Terms…

Image by Dominik Rheinheimer from Pixabay 

“Huge oaks from little acorns grow…”

This phrase has been running around in my head for days, and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with my present marketing endeavours for my latest story, Ghost of a Chance.

Marketing is not the easiest thing to do, at least with any degree of success, especially nowadays. Despite what else is going on, I am determined to stick with my plan.

Although I am presently running around like a headless chicken, preparing my latest work of art (I hope) for its release on 27th September, I have wanted to write a post on our other development.

Not an easy post to write, which is why I have been dragging my heels, but I need to write it to get it out of my head.

Since escaping from the hospital last week, I have been trying not to think about it. Especially what may or may not happen next.

Two years ago, when my sister had her massive heart attack, it was touch and go for weeks as they tried desperately to stabilize her. Once that was accomplished, they seemed to forget about her. Follow-up appointments fail to arrive, despite our doctor’s intervention. We do know what to do if the need arises, and they probably rely on that.

Fast forward to the present day and my own heart problems. After failing to unblock my artery, I was sent home with medication clearly designed to prevent any more blockages from developing. Supposedly, an appointment will follow at some point. Four to six weeks was mentioned for another procedure, but as the days pass, I have stopped waiting for the letter to arrive.

Maybe we are too old for them to worry about it anymore?

We have been made comfortable, and hopefully, we will stay that way.

And you know something, we are happy with that…

From the Two of us!

The Hospital…

The view from my hospital window…

The QA hospital is one huge building, been around since 1904. Parts of it are old and past their best. After twelve hours of sitting in the emergency department, they sent me to one of these old wards.

This ward was not the cleanest place I have ever been in. It was shabby and untidy, and the staff seemed like robots on automatic pilots. An assessment ward is where they put you if unsure of your treatment. Eventually, I would be moved and secretly quite glad of that.

After a few hours, a couple of porters turned up to take me somewhere else. I thought I would walk there, but no. I was told to climb on the bed, and off we went.

I assumed, wrongly, it turned out that my destination would be nearby, but it was on the other side of the hospital, so it was a long ride.

The ward I found myself in couldn’t have been more different. The minute they pushed my bed and me through the door, the patients already there cheered and welcomed me.

It was at the top of the building. It looked new, bright and airy, spacious and cheerful.  I was really impressed. The view from the windows was amazing. I could see the sea and most of Portsmouth, including the Spinnaker Tower.

The difference didn’t stop there. In the other ward, you always had to ask for things, like fresh water or help. Here in this ward, chilled water arrives regularly as if by magic. I would only be there for a few days, but those lovely ladies made a sorry occasion much better.

So, time to tell you the bad news.

It had been eleven years since my first heart attack and subsequent stent, so I was expecting more of the same. After my arrival in the Cath Lab yesterday, for what was going to be quick and easy like the last time, I was confident that my troubles were over.

The time went by, and after a while, I knew something was wrong. And when the technician approached me with one of the saddest faces and quietly said, ‘I am sorry, my hopes fled.

There was a blocked artery, but it was hiding behind the stent they put in last time. I wonder how often that happens? They had tried several times to clear the blockage and had to admit defeat. I had the feeling this didn’t happen very often, judging by his face. Later, the consultant explained that it resisted because the blockage had been growing for a while.

Hearing this, I felt really guilty. This had to be my fault, as I have ignored the signs for ages, not wanting to upset Anita and cause her more problems. Her heart problems are so much worse than mine!

So, I have come home with new medication to ease the problem, but if it doesn’t do the trick, there is another procedure they can do to solve the problem. They seemed reluctant to do it yet, so I wonder why they didn’t do it while I was spreadeagled on the table…

Jaye

I’m Back!

Jaye’s Week… Life – as we know it now…

People can fail you.

When the world fails you, we just grit our teeth and get on with it. 

But when your body starts to fail you, and your teeth are long past being able to chew, let alone grit anything, you know you have just stepped on to that slippery slope.

Very slowly…over the years, various bits of us have stopped performing as we would want them to, but we manage to find ways to get around each problem.

Those handy little rubber mats for opening stubborn bottles and jars. Kneeling pads and handrails, stronger reading glasses and tablets for the arthritis. Little tricks that fool us into thinking we are as good as we ever were.

Secretly though, we know our shortcomings only too well. We just wish the list would stop getting any longer.

This has been brought home to me quite strongly, as I help Anita to regain some of her usual abilities after being fitted with an ICD. Implantable cardio verter – defibrillator. A small battery-operated device to monitor the heart.

All the reports about this procedure said that after the initial six weeks, Anita would be blessed with a new lease of life, stronger and more able to cope with life in general.

So far, we have yet to see much improvement.

Her damaged heart seems to be behaving, thanks to a strict and intensive drug regime, although this is tough going for someone who is rarely ill and never takes as much as an aspirin!

Breathlessness is still a big problem, leaving her weak (and bad tempered) and the site of the implant is still painfully uncomfortable, but as yet, only mild sensations from the device have been experienced.

Between the two of us and help from our family, our life rolls on much as it always has, but for the ever-present shadow of the elephant in the room…

© Jaye Marie 2020

Not the Best Update…

Image by Pixabay.com

Waiting five weeks for the MRI was bad enough, then we had to wait for the results, so when the telephone rang, our hopes soared.

Our hopes quickly dived again when it wasn’t the results, just the Cardiac Failure nurse, ringing to make an appointment to visit and run checks on Anita’s progress.

When she arrived, complete with plastic apron, gloves and mask, she proceeded to carry out a barrage of tests in our living room, including Anita’s blood pressure, both sitting and standing, a full ECG, breathing monitored and then a ton of questions about the medication and how she was feeling.

The nurse seemed quite pleased with her findings, but changed several medications, according to instruction from the consultant.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I knew instinctively that she probably couldn’t answer them. The only thing that can do that will be the results of the MRI.

In the six weeks since Anita’s heart attack, she has become stronger and is able to continue pretty much as normal. She gets very out of breath going upstairs, and this is a strong indication that she still has a long way to go.

After the nurse left, I had a look at the copy of the paper readout from the ECG machine, and I have to say that I have never seen a reading that bad. The familiar, normal spikes were non-existent.

I am quite familiar with heart patterns, due to my own heart attack a few years ago, and this one resembled nothing I had ever seen before.

Printed at the end of the printout were the machines conclusions and the words myocardial damage said it all. Among all the technical jargon was the word aberrant, which I knew meant deviating from what is normal. At that point, I would have given my eye teeth to know how badly Anita’s heart is damaged and/or what the MRI found…

I really hope to have better news soon…

From Bad to Worse?

I didn’t sleep well last night and when I finally closed my eyes, I dreamed of sprinkling grass seed into a seed tray that already had a thick carpet of grass.

Dreams are usually confusing, but I understood this one well enough. My life seems to have taken on an air of futility where I stubbornly keep doing things that are not necessary, and literally ignoring the things I should be doing.

I am still kicking myself for the stupid way I handled that impromptu meeting with David Snow, one of my resident detectives. I should have planned that a lot better than I did and maybe we could have come to some sort of agreement.

Or, left decisions like that until I felt better.

Speaking of feeling better, it appears that I am a long way from better now.

My doctor called me to the surgery yesterday to check on me. I had been on the verge of making an appointment as I didn’t think I was getting better fast enough.

So great minds think alike?

The long walk to the surgery was most enjoyable. The sun was shining, and it felt good to be outside in the fresh air.

I tried not to think about all the closed and empty shops, and the way the few people we saw all kept their distance. (Almost is if they knew I was infected with something!)

Turned out that my blood pressure was through the roof and the kidney infection was still very much alive and kicking!

Ill Taffy Cat

A sample of my wee is winging its way to the laboratory so they can get to the bottom of why the antibiotics didn’t get rid of it, and which one might work better.

So this explains my semi fragile state, continuing back ache and brain confusion. I hope!

The walk home after seeing the doctor seemed twice as long as before and I needed several sit downs along the way. My energy levels were all but crawling along the floor, but I managed to get home, walk up the path to my front door and collapse on to the nearest chair…

This was my first post with the new WordPress editor and wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Obviously, there is a lot to learn but I think I am going to like it!

©JayeMarie 2020