A Conversation…

conversation-3513843_1920.jpg

Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay

A Conversation

 

I knew I had to say something.

I had been avoiding this conversation for a while now, but now was as good a time as any.

“Could you stop for a minute and listen to me?”

A silence descended in the room and I knew a pit of doom had just slid open somewhere. I decided to plough on and get it all off my chest.

“I need to know what your plans are. Do you actually have any, or are you planning on wandering through life until something interesting turns up?”

Nothing.

Had I picked the wrong moment after all, or was I being ignored?

While I waited for some kind of response, I started thinking of different ways to force the issue. Maybe it was time I stopped working, give up the constant battle to create something worthwhile on my own.

Retire?

That idea was certainly appealing.

The silence was making my headache, the feeling of knowing I was on my own in this was depressing to say the least. I could feel myself getting angry. Angry enough to say something I would probably regret later.

I searched my frustrated brain for something, anything that might provoke an answer. I wanted to hurt or threaten to hurt but been there before and it never worked.

I knew I wouldn’t be spoken to until it was deemed necessary.

I was on my own, as always.

If I received an answer now, it would mean nothing, and I wouldn’t care one way or another…

 

©JayeMarie 2020

 

It’s lonely out here in the inter-ether…Talk to me people!

 

#BlogBattle ~ Bucket #Poetry

untitled-design-1.jpgbb-1.jpg

blogbattle_bucket.jpg

 

They say at my age of 85

The days of wine and roses are over

They may be right, however

I live ten minutes from the beach at Southend

Each day I insert myself into the world

I sit with my toes in the sand

Watching people with their children

Playing let’s bury dad

This it seems, leads to a great deal of laughter

I count the days lucky

When a stranger stops to speak awhile

A gift from the Universe

This morning, I have risen extra early

I want to see the sunrise

With luck, I will have the beach to myself

As I walk barefoot along the sand

I am drawn towards two abandoned blue buckets

Sandcastles forgotten, weekend trippers

Long gone home

I sit holding one of the buckets

With no spade to fill it, I use my hand

I turn it over and instantly felt transported

As if by a time machine to my 8-year-old self

The first time standing on sand

The sight of the sea, so large

I remember thinking it had no end

It was rolling away from me to touch the sky

I know better now, as I wait for the sunrise

Wondering how many more I can fit into my life

Before I am called to that blue hour I see before me…

©anitadawes

Butterfly Cinquain by Anita

We noticed a lovely Butterfly Cinquain on Colleen Chesebro’s site this morning, you can see it here further down the page.

Anita liked it so much, she wrote one of her own…

butterfly-430203_1920.jpg

Image by Karsten Paulick from Pixabay

 

Butterfly Cinquain

Soft hands

One touch, last touch

Love lost in memory

Cold pillow wet, by midnight tears

Heart broke

Only touch again in dreaming

Lips to meet in shadows

Sunlight removes

Lost hands

©anitadawes

Mother and Daughter…

mother-3793521_1920.jpg

Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

 

‘You’re late, where have you been?’

‘Out…’

‘You’re twelve, I asked you to be in by nine…’

‘I know…’

‘I’m your mother…’

‘I know that too…’

‘So where have you been?’

‘Just out, mum…’

‘Is there some strange universe out there that you can’t speak about?’

‘No, mum. I’m just having fun. Why must I tell you everything?’

‘I need to know you’re safe…’

‘I am, mum. There’s nothing sinister going on. We just play music on the jukebox and I don’t want to be the first one to say I have to go home now. We like to walk home together, laughing about the boys.’

I hadn’t meant to say that last bit. Mum went quiet for a while. I guess she must be thinking about the boy thing I let slip out.

‘If I let you stay out until ten, I don’t expect you to take time and stretch it. No excuses, no being late, no telling me your watch stopped.’

Trying not to show my excitement, I said, Yes mum. Wondering why she had been so generous…

 

©anitadawes

Christmas Past…

 

DSCF1406.JPG

Image by Jaye Marie

 

We have always been a family that goes all out for Christmas. It was always a very special occasion for all of us.

Right back when the children were small, our living room would be transformed into a magical fairy land.

We were never well off and for most of the year, life was tough but one way or another, the stops would be pulled way out at Christmas.

Our tree and the decorations were legendary, and the ceiling would literally be covered in crystal droplets, stars and tinsel garlands.

One year, we had the opportunity to move to a new house on Christmas Eve, so we packed everything away and reinstalled it all in the new place. It took all night, but that Christmas was very special.

 

My own childhood was dismal, I don’t remember celebrating any Christmas or birthdays, so I became obsessed with making up for it when I grew up.

We have always tried to come up with a different theme every year and have had trees of every colour and size. Once we even had an upside-down tree!

DSCF2910.JPG

image by Jaye Marie

 

Christmas Present

 

Sadly, this year is going to be different. The family are all grown up and some are married with their own families, so we won’t be spending Christmas Day together for the very first time.

We will, however, be celebrating with them on Boxing Day instead.

Time moves on, we are getting seriously old and beginning to feel a little bit left behind. The thought of Christmas future is out of focus, a distant dream that may simply fade away…

 

©jayemarie

 

 

 

 

Surprise Christmas… #Poetry

 

snowing-2974540_1920.jpg

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Surprise Christmas

My granddaughters have decided

on a surprise Christmas

For their 73-year-old grandma

Good job they told me

where they were taking me

Pulling up outside the ice rink

I carried three cushions with me

One for my backside

One each for my elbows

A crash helmet for my head

I need to preserve

whatever grey matter I have left

what a sight I must have looked

with holly sticking out of my helmet

somehow, I managed to stay upright

on the thin blades they strapped to my feet…

©anitadawes

A Cold Christmas…

 

 

christmas-tree-1149619_1920.jpg

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

 

For some folk, Christmas is hell on earth

Those who remember big family gatherings

And now sit alone

I shed a tear, wishing I could be near

A child’s first Christmas, a thing of joy

Opening gifts, spreading smiles across

The family gathered

Like an electric shock passed on

A joy relived, a rare gift not all will receive

So knock on a neighbour’s door

See if they are okay, then everything will be…

©anitadawes

Wrong Move!

 

persons-768597_1920.jpg

Image by Scott Webb from Pixabay

I had half an hour before the man came to install the new bannister rail, so I decided to nip to the market.

I crossed the road from my house, hardly reaching the pavement when one of those alien people came towards me, head down and holding a mobile phone where his face should be.

Now, as a rule, they see you coming from the corner of their eye, but not this one. I stepped to the right. So did he. I stepped to the left, he did the same, and we seemed to be doing a two-step.

Now I know this happens all the time with people with phones in their faces and is usually quick and you are on your way.

Not this one. He wouldn’t look up from the phone and by now I was getting annoyed, so I let him have both barrels. “Will you stand ******* still so I can get to where I’m going?”

He looked up with a smile on his face, and I guess he wasn’t expecting a woman of my age to have such a mouth on her. He looked to be in his mid-twenties and for a second I thought I might get a mouthful back.

To my surprise, he grabbed my arms and danced me around in a kind of waltz. When he stopped, I was facing my front door, showing me just how far I hadn’t got. He kissed my cheek and wished me a Merry Christmas, leaving me standing there with my mouth open.

For a woman of my age that was quite a moment, and I watched as he went on his way, phone in his face again, neatly sidestepping the people who came towards him.

I stood there with a stupid smile on my face, wondering if any of the neighbours had been watching. If any of them were, they probably thought I had lost my mind. I decided to wait for the bannister man, before taking a second shot at getting to the market.

Hopefully, I wouldn’t bump into any more strange men…

©anitadawes