Image by Pixabay.com
My husband of many years
Suddenly announced that we need silk sheets
I managed to stop myself from laughing
And said, we will slip out of bed
His smile, that twinkle in his eyes
I had not seen for many a year
He said he had a different kind of slipping in mind
I thought no more of it until I found
Silk sheets on our bed
My husband has found a renewed sense of youth
The bonus in this, is I didn’t slip out of bed…
Image by Pixabay.com
The lonely moorland called me by name
Purple heather swaying amongst
the dark low growing gorse
the tiny yellow flowers shining
like too many suns from a sci fi novel
how come this strip of land knows my name?
I heard it clearly as if my wife had called me
The sore spot in my heart reminding me
She is no longer here
She wanted to be a mother
This need stole her and my unborn child from me
With one swipe of the cruel hand of fate I am told.
Mine or hers, I have often wondered
My eyes were drawn to the sea
The rocky piece of land where the lighthouse stands
With my name ringing in my ear.
Victor, the way my wife would sound it
It stung like a knife, scratching the sore spot
Alongside her a small, much younger voice calling Daddy.
I did not become a father,
so, I knew this to be the ravings of my mind
I watched as the great finger of light swung around
On the third pass it seemed to slow
I thought my mind was playing another trick
In the slow finger of light, I could see my wife
Beside her, a young girl of about 4, who looked like my wife
The same eyes, same blonde hair
I heard my wife speak again. I have moved heaven and earth
For you to meet our daughter
I cannot hold the light for much longer
Use your phone, keep the image with you
I cannot return.
The light swung around at the normal speed and they were gone,
my phone the only proof of what I had seen…
©anitadawes
I am feeling very optimistic this morning, the sun is shining and it promises to be a lovely weekend… which will make a nice change from the week I’ve just waded through!
Wise Merlin has just arrived on my desk, to wish us all pleasant and relaxing weekend…
Image by Pixabay.com
She looked at me with salt worn eyes
Tears of a thousand years
Her pain I could not imagine
Her years are old, she has lived too long
Old memories haunt her days, her nights
A plait crowns her beautiful grey hair
Her hand small and gentle, touch my face
Her smile almost invisible, too hard
Her pain holds it at bay, yet I remember
that her smile lit her eyes like night stars
She will forever be my beloved Oma…
Image by Pixabay.com
My thoughts take on a different colour
Depending on the words or who is speaking
A child can come across as pink and fluffy
Other times crazy, like a kaleidoscope
Full of wonders, possibilities
Speak too fast and the colours spar
Like a fuse about to blow
Angry voices bring dark storm clouds
Across windswept seas, lightning flashing
Lovers whispering on a park bench
In purple twists of blue swirling patterns
Joined in harmony, floating like smoke on the wind
When they kiss, I see a river of lights?
A festival of love
Bird song, a touch of stardust laced with moon beams
I care not that people think me a loon
This is how I see my world…
Image by Pixabay.com
Don’t
Touch it
Mother said.
It cost too much
So your father said
A cup of blue and gold.
How can I tell her I know?
Down the lane they’re two a penny
His lie has become the Holy Grail
one last gift to keep mother’s spirit bright…
Image by Pixabay.com
When I was seven, my mother bought me a black velvet dress for my birthday. It had a white collar with white cuffs on the small puff sleeves.
I felt like a princess, and couldn’t stop rubbing my hands over it. Mother told me to stop doing it, as I would ruin it.
My stepfather Joe said he would take me and my brothers to the park. As we left the house, my mother said not to give me any ice cream.
We played on the swings for a bit and then Joe brought my brother’s some ice cream.
I walked away, wondering if he would do as he was told. I didn’t go far, for I hoped I knew better than that and I was right. Joe handed me an ice cream, telling me to please be careful.
I said I would, but what child can eat an ice cream without getting it down themselves? Not me anyway. I kept rubbing at it, making it worse. The velvet was sticking up where I had rubbed it and there was no way to hide it.
All the way home, I wished Joe would run away with us, but he told me not to worry. He would say it was his fault, which in a way it was for buying it for me. I know that’s an unkind thought, but when we got home before he could say a word, mother ripped the dress from my body, leaving her nail marks on my back because the fabric was too hard to tear.
Joe got both barrels of her temper until I thought his ears would swell and drop off.
This memory has returned, because my daughter who lives next door, was playing a song I haven’t heard for a long time. It was one of my favourites, called Black Velvet.
It’s a funny old life isn’t it, the way old memories come back?
Anita Dawes 2018
Merlin has been sitting on the desk with me a lot lately, so when he turned up again this morning, I simply stroked his head and went back to what I was doing on the computer.
He moved a little closer and I began to wonder if something was wrong. I studied him for a while, then gently put my hand on his head. He looked bright enough and his head and ears felt cool, so I let my hand slide slowly down his back. He looked up at me with so much wisdom and intelligence in his amber eyes and at that moment, I experienced a deep communication between us as our eyes met.
It is usually difficult to see Merlin’s eyes properly, as they seem to vanish in his black face, but for once I could clearly see him looking at me.
He stretched his head towards me until our heads were almost touching. I was sure he had something to tell me, but all I felt was such overwhelming sadness. Was it just his sorrow, or my own somehow joining together?
“You okay, Merlin?”
I had the strongest feeling he wasn’t, as I knew old age was creeping up on him too. I had seen how many times he missed the couch when a jump failed, and how he often stumbled as he walked around. I found myself wondering if he ever thought about how much time he had left, as I often did. The thought that neither of us might not last much longer brought tears to my eyes.
He stayed with me for a while and I with him, sharing something very special.
Two old souls, emotionally communicating on some deeper level.
Well, I have been simplifying and streamlining like a mad woman. I have cut and pruned, deleted and unsubscribed, all those things and places that I thought were a good idea at the time, but somehow never got around to learning. They have all been weeded out.
There seems to be a strong gardening influence going on here, don’t you think? This is probably because after I finish spring cleaning the inside of my head and my office… there is a load more of the same to do outside in the garden!
All things considered, I don’t appear to have so many balls in the air now, and feel the better for it.
That was when something amazing happened.
Anita and I have long wanted to write a book together, but despite regular discussions, we never seemed to agree on anything. No change there then! This in itself is not unusual in this house, but I digress.
Something was mentioned and caught our interest, and as we continued to talk, we could see the magic beginning to grow into a great idea. I won’t say any more, but I have the feeling it could be amazing.
I honestly believe that everything we have learned, every failure and disappointment, even the pruning casualties this week, have all been leading us to this moment.
So, from having too many irons in the fire, we have added another one!
And then disaster struck!
The internet had been playing up, constantly buffering and crashing, but I was patient, thinking it would right itself. When several days passed without improvement, I decided to refresh Firefox, my browser. All this managed to achieve was the total loss of all my bookmarks and password recognition and no possible way of retrieving them that I could see.
By this time, I was thoroughly disgusted with my stupidity, so I changed browsers, returning to Internet Explorer, which always seemed to work well enough on my laptop.
But… by then everything was going from bad to worse, and I wanted to shoot myself. Nothing had really changed, and I didn’t like the layout on Int.Explorer. All I really wanted was to stop all the buffering and delays.
This is a classic example of my prowess or lack of it when it comes to computers. I had to stop for the day round about then, as my brain was showing signs of self-destruction.
The following day, my mind decided to work better, and I reinstated Firefox. I am still unable to get my stuff back, which means I will have to collect them all over again. But the buffering has now stopped, so that’s a small price to pay.
I cannot believe the mess I made, simply trying to make my life easier…
Image by Pixabay.com
Chinese whispers
From forked tongues are born
They fly like poison darts
Leaving damage in their wake
Lives destroyed, reputations shattered
Families broken,
Sticks and stones would hurt far less
Than whispered words, hardly spoken
I know these darts I feel their poison
My back a road map
To whispered words hardly spoken…
