#Hope

Jaye’s Disappointing Days… Have I done it Again?

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 18 Comments

Have I done it again!

What I needed was a little more enthusiasm, something that had seemingly been mislaid, disrupting my joy in all things writing-related.

All of my past irons were still in the fire, but the flames had long since extinguished.

So, when I felt that joy returning last week, I was overjoyed.

I felt stronger, more capable than I had in ages. More than happy to stoke the fire and ramp up the workload. Just as well, really, for there was a lot to catch up on. My days were full of bliss and determination as I set to work.

Most of my endeavours brought even more joy to my heart, but gradually, the not-so-easy tasks began to make their presence known.

I wasn’t daunted, as I was the new, stronger me now, wasn’t I?

My enthusiasm doubled as I refused to admit defeat. Not so soon, anyway!

It wasn’t long before I realised I was almost back to square one. Too many irons in the fire again, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. The only thing missing was the despondency and depression.

I could avoid the tasks that were defeating me and walk a less complicated path, but I knew I couldn’t live with that.

The first thing that occurred to me was that I had to concentrate on one thing at a time, as it was becoming apparent that my multitasking days had gone the way of all things. Trying to ignore this fact was probably the reason I had painted myself into a corner before.

I will also ask for help more often, as trying to learn anything on YouTube can be disappointing, and I am fast running out of ideas. (And a little patience)

So, there will be changes as I continue to try and make everything work…

Time for a Change?

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 18 Comments

Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

At this time of year, we usually talk about the new year and what we might expect or plan to do with it, but honestly, for once we cannot be asked. We will carry on as normal, rather than waiting to see if it will be worth getting out of bed. I mean, the New Year could simply be waiting to start being brilliant!

Since we began blogging in 2012, we have done rather well considering how much there was to learn. However, we have the feeling we won’t progress any further until we find new areas to develop. We also need to figure out what else we need to know, for we haven’t sold a huge amount of books. Luckily, the writing is going well so that is something to build on.

Maybe our goal for 2023 should be to stop worrying, slow down a bit and smell the roses?

I usually feel sad on New Year’s Eve, but I have a feeling I won’t this year, for it has been a right old mixed bag of pain, frustration and depression, with hardly any good bits!

I normally open all the doors as Big Ben chimes at midnight to allow the old year to limp away. This year I will be sorely tempted to help it on its way with my foot!

Come on in 2023 and show us all a little more peace and joy, pretty please?

Frosty Fate…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 9 Comments
Image by Tapani Hellman from Pixabay

The grass crunched under my shoes as I trudged towards the empty birdfeeders. The cold quickly found its way through my thin shirt, and the air hurt my throat and lungs with each breath, but the birds were hungry, and my conscience would not let me rest indoors.

My fingers, never fond of the cold, grew painful as I wrestled with the bucket of fat balls and bag of the finest seed mixture, before coping with the intricacies of the feeders.

Image by Tobikoz from Pixabay

The sunlight was blinding and most welcome, yet ineffective this early in the day against the thick frost and biting temperatures. It would be another hour at least before everything warmed up and the frost melted, only to reappear the following morning. When I finished, I stood back, pleased to have done my bit for our feathered friends. I looked around the garden, at how different it seemed these days. The plants had died down and were fast asleep, everything wearing a thick dusting of what looked like icing sugar. Here and there, late flowers had paid the price and were crystalised for their tardiness.

I started to wonder what fate had in store for us this year. Lord knows it hadn’t started well already and I knew it would be weeks before there was any hope of an improvement…

Update on Anita and Deja Vu

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 36 Comments

After the longest four days, we arrived to collect a pale and fragile Anita from a bench outside the hospital. She could barely walk and still seemed to be in so much pain, even though the terrible breathlessness had gone.

We knew they would have liked to keep her for a few more days but Anita insisted on coming home. And as number one son said, the antibiotics can work just as well on our couch, and he had a point although I did wonder if it was too soon to come home.

On those first days home, Anita was far from well, not comfortable, had no appetite and had trouble drinking anything but the dreadful paleness had gone, and she looked a little better.

THE ALL-IMPORTANT VERDICT.

We finally managed, over the phone, to prise some proper information from the hospital doctor, and it wasn’t good.

The pneumonia was caused by a bacterial infection in Anita’s lungs, resulting in fluid around her heart. The pain came from a clot they think originated in her heart.

Her heart is still irreparably damaged from last year’s attack and in their opinion, cannot hope to perform well enough to stop this happening again, but they have adjusted her meds to help improve the situation.

The communication has been bad this time, with so much conflicting information. To be honest, sometimes I think they don’t understand how she is still here. At one point I thought they were merely keeping her comfortable.

But… and this cheered us all up … the doctor did say that Anita’s heart is unbelievably strong, even though only half of it is working. Apparently, the half that is working is doing a wonderful job.

We were not surprised by this as we all know about Anita’s legendary determination…

Myself and the rest of the family are deeply grateful for all your wonderful messages of hope and caring, and especially all of the hugs!

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 4 Comments

#TANKA TUESDAY #POETRY CHALLENGE NO. 216 #SYNONYMSONLY

This week, SALLY CRONIN selected the words:

Eager & Hope

Wild
Breathless
I wondered
will my prayer
A promise spoken
Become more than a wish?
Will desire feed my hunger
Will confidence wipe out folly
My intent is not spurred on by greed
It comes from a desire to fill a wish…

© Anita Dawes 2021

Two Steps from Hell…

/ Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes / 3 Comments

This is what it feels like right now, isn’t it?

These words were running around my head, and at first, I didn’t recognise them as any kind of message. Hardly surprising, as not sure I really know what my name is right now…

The pea soup in my brain must have thinned a little, for I suddenly realised why those words were so familiar. It’s the name of the people who create the most inspiring music I have ever heard, and where I usually head in times of stress.

And if ever there was a time to listen to it again, it must be now. I cannot imagine why I haven’t done this sooner.

Take a moment to listen to this glorious music and tell me honestly that it didn’t reach those parts that were crying out for hope and salvation…