The power shot past me The sacred moment lost I lie under the covers A heavy ache held my heart I hear the owl in the woods The hollow crack of spirit The candle lit, the feast ready The sideways glance, the door opens Yesterday’s spirits rush in… ©AnitaDawes2022
Some people live charmed lives, don’t they?
Everything good seems to drop in their laps. As I get closer to the end of my days, I have been unable to stop wondering why my life had to be the way it was. Back then, I always seemed to be at the end of the queue when dishing out happy days.
I would have settled for dull and boring days, anything but one more day of misery.
People who know me know I am a trier, and I sometimes wonder if that was half the trouble. Maybe if I wasn’t so willing to accept everything that fate threw at me, my life might have been easier to live. Not known for ducking and diving, you see. At the time, I thought all I had to do was wait until I was old enough to do my own thing.
I was determined to climb to the top of the dung heap, to breathe fresh, clean air, the air of success, of possibilities, and make something of my life. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, this never really happened. I trudged through an endless succession of hopeless situations.
I hurtled from one mistake to another. They were never the same mistake, though, something I remember with a touch of pride, not that it helped much.
My life is full of shadows. Shadows that haunt me every day.
My heart is like a piece of Kintsugi, carefully repaired many times but hanging in there like a trooper.
Getting older has been a Godsend for me. I am more in control now, and many shadows have faded, no longer waiting in the corners to ruin my days. There are one or two things I would love to change, to put right what I did wrong all those years ago, but time sometimes makes this impossible.
As my life slows down and my memories lose clarity, I hope to enjoy the gathering peace for a while longer…
Falling out of love I find Opportunities I thought lost Understanding what to do, however Nothing I could think of helps Drowning is how I felt Always the same feelings repeated Too late, you lost me In moonlight I sleep On wings of white I fly late at night Nearer to you, before we fall out of love… ©AnitaDawes2022
Another wonderfully sad, heartbreaking poem from Anita!
Under purple skies, she sits, she sings Low winds carry her voice, her echo Tomorrow tells yesterday’s old stories Impossible dreams crushed like broken glass Memories claw like branches on the bedroom window pane Alerting the sleeping mind to horrors outside Tomorrows nightmares arrive early Entering the subconscious, they grow, Slowly waiting for the day they bloom… ©AnitaDawes2022
Shadows stretch across the floor Disappearing into darker corners Hidden in mind’s eye, they linger, like lost souls, looking for home Any thoughts I had, were mixed, scrambled, questioning Kites when they break free, that’s what shadows remind me of When they hide in a darker space, are they free? Evening shadows, are they the same ones, out of hiding? Silly thoughts that take hold of the mind Peppering the space inside my head, with strange things to ponder on Evening starlight, are there shadows up there? Away from our gaze, I wonder Running after my own shadow for too long Ending where I began… ©AnitaDawes2022
Thank God for fiction, the bishop and the black dog, the dog that told of the whispers between the walls The hot dog that legged it to a better life Stories saved my soul from shrinking my way to cope, to lose myself in myth Hercules and the Minotaur, Troy, Medusa with her head of snakes Without these things my childhood would have been so much darker, lonely Nowadays, holidays take in the old, sometimes forgotten architecture My enthusiasm knows no bounds when it comes to the skill of our forefathers The beauty of a gargoyle, high above your head The grotesques that keep away bad spirits Anything otherworldly keeps my soul in place… ©AnitaDawes2022
Lost in time The bones of our ancestors Covered in myths That run on willowy legs Old spirits growl, I hear them not I hear birds singing, the hum of summer Empty footsteps tracking my progress I pray they never catch up to me I say the prayer three times The third is the charm To keep away the blood, trickling down the walls The glum faces of my neighbours that haunt my dreams I run after the old, the magic of myth The stories that keep my blood pumping… ©AnitaDawes2022
Playing inside the long grass Happy, safe, childhood free of pain In my family’s hands I grew Leaving home, my first pain Arrives, concealed in sweetness Dad kissed my cheek, waved me on Education, part of the plan Later, life grew strange Pushed by my peers Hell was raised In pain, loss of innocence Away I staggered from college life to the safety of my home… ©AnitaDawes2022
ABOUT US: For those new to our website and blog, we would like to thank you for visiting. Between us, we write in several different genres, so there should be something for everyone to enjoy. Anita cannot abide computers, so I (Jaye) do all the technical (oily rag) stuff! Our books tend to be varied, from horror to supernatural romance and coming of age, and mystery thrillers. We try to keep our website interesting with guest posts, bloggers, poetry, and reviews for all the books we read. Our books are shown in the right-hand sidebar and clicking on the images should take you straight to Amazon. If you enjoyed your visit, we would love you to leave a comment… Hoping to see you again!