I knew I had to say something.
I had been avoiding this conversation for a while now, but now was as good a time as any.
“Could you stop for a minute and listen to me?”
A silence descended in the room and I knew a pit of doom had just slid open somewhere. I decided to plough on and get it all off my chest.
“I need to know what your plans are. Do you actually have any, or are you planning on wandering through life until something interesting turns up?”
Had I picked the wrong moment after all, or was I being ignored?
While I waited for some kind of response, I started thinking of different ways to force the issue. Maybe it was time I stopped working, give up the constant battle to create something worthwhile on my own.
That idea was certainly appealing.
The silence was making my headache, the feeling of knowing I was on my own in this was depressing to say the least. I could feel myself getting angry. Angry enough to say something I would probably regret later.
I searched my frustrated brain for something, anything that might provoke an answer. I wanted to hurt or threaten to hurt but been there before and it never worked.
I knew I wouldn’t be spoken to until it was deemed necessary.
I was on my own, as always.
If I received an answer now, it would mean nothing, and I wouldn’t care one way or another…
It’s lonely out here in the inter-ether…Talk to me people!