Has anyone seen my enthusiasm?
I started the week full of good intentions. It was a new week – new mood – new energy.
There was none of that – ‘It’s a beautiful day, watch someone ruin it.’
But someone did.
BT did. I think someone had tried to mess with my e-mail account over the weekend and I had promptly been frozen out. To make matters worse, I had temporarily forgotten the answer to my security question, so couldn’t change the blessed password either.
Thoroughly frustrated, I finally managed to speak to someone in an Indian call centre who said she would e-mail me a new password. Words cannot sufficiently explain what happened to my temper after trying several times to get her to see why this would not work, and I was passed on to someone else. This young woman was so helpful and immediately understood my problem, that my temper had no choice but to high-tail it out of the back door!
So, not a good start, you might say. But this was only Monday, surely the week could only get better?
I should be thinking about what I want to do next. Anita has a book almost ready for proofing, and my latest crime mystery is nearly finished, but something doesn’t feel right. I ought to be re-editing some of our earlier work, as some of the covers need replacing and the descriptions are just not good enough. The trouble is, I’m a bit short of enthusiasm at the moment, my ‘get up and go’ has done a runner!
Christmas is literally just around the corner and the newsletter I wanted to write is still just a vague idea floating around somewhere. What I cannot understand is why some days are good and optimistic, and then you get that other kind. The ‘what the hell do you think you are doing’ days. Closely followed by (give it up, you know you are too old to bother with it) ones.
I am basing my understanding of this writing business on what I have observed with my sister Anita. She has six good books to her credit and just seems to get on with it (and enjoys the process!) She does have bad days of course, but they never seem to be writing related.
I know we are all different, and that is how it should be, it’s just not very helpful.
I think it is my age that seems to be the problem. I forget far more than I remember and find myself wondering where all the time has gone and know that I have wasted most of it. Why didn’t I want to do this when my brain was younger?
Don’t get me wrong, on a good day I quite like my brain and how it works. It’s just that my good days are getting pretty thin on the ground these days. Today, for example, I’m not even sure I have a brain!