Time to Think Again!

 

929487.jpg

A new week starts, a time when my enthusiasm usually renews itself, but there is a noticeable lack of ‘get up and go’. It was more like, ‘get your arse moving and see what you can muddle through this week!’

Last month’s USB failure, resulting in the loss of three weeks work, has left a sour taste in my soul, leading me to wonder if I should even be doing any of this promotional stuff. I have ended up juggling so many balls; I am in danger of losing sight of the original dream, consumed as I am with the need to find that one magic ingredient that will make it all worthwhile.

It is always possible that I am not destined for greatness, and I am happy to realise that. Relieved, actually, but that will not stop me from trying my best, and improving my work. (At the time of writing, I plan to re-edit my books and update the covers, blurbs and keywords. I have been having a long hard look and not entirely happy with what I see!)

Little by little, I think I am beginning to lose my edge, the ability to juggle everything and still keep my balance. I seem to recall that this has happened to me before, a long time ago. I was in a relationship, and as long as I obeyed the rules and performed as instructed, I was grudgingly allowed to breathe.

Of course, the day eventually came when I needed more than that when I was tired of the constant struggle to be the person that was required. This wasn’t the first time I escaped from tyranny and it wouldn’t be my last, but eventually, I found a better way to live.

My present struggle is beginning to feel the same, and the need to escape is growing again. This presents a problem, for I don’t want to run away from most of it. I have to find a compromise, a way to keep our options open and the dream alive. I have to stop trying everything and anything, looking for the golden goose, who, for all I know, gave up laying eggs a long time ago…

18 thoughts on “Time to Think Again!

  1. I get it Jaye and I have reached a crossroads with regard to a number of things this year and part of it is the knowledge that there are less years ahead of me than behind me. I am tied to routine, but that is something I enjoy as I love the time I have online.. but physically, mentally and emotionally I am reassessing what comes next. Once this house is finished and sold I want to put everything in storage for three or four months and go travelling whilst we are fit enough which means taking a complete break from everthing except perhaps writing a journal while we are away. We shall see but you are the priority at the end of the day and you need to do what makes you feel happy and well… ♥♥

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I agree with Sally, you’re the priority and need to do what feels best and makes you happy. I felt like you months ago and then decided to take a break from writing. The spirit needs replenishing and time to throw off stasis. Maybe it’s time to stop being patient. Unfurl your wings and give them a chance dry…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I hear you Jaye. I don’t think it’s just you. I think it’s something in the air making us reassess our life plans. I feel the same as you and Sally, a lot lately. I think we begin to evaluate life more as we age and look around at those who regret things they didn’t do and don’t wish to be one of them. There aren’t enough hours in a day to write, promote and socialize, yet do the day to day things in life too. We all need to assess our priorities. I’ve been going through this the past year, and guess what? I have ‘t put out a book in a year, and I’m ok with it. I want to do what I enjoy without being pressured by myself. Still not sure which approach to take, but one thing for sure, I am not going to make myself crazy trying to do it all in a day. One day at a time as become my best motto. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. PS your Twitter button is gone, like on many blogs. It only says tweet, and the tweet is generic and doesn’t mention anything what the link is about. 😦 WP is glitching to the max lately 😦

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.