I haven’t been writing in my journal this week as I don’t have anything of interest to tell you about.
My life is wall-to-wall pain at the moment, and I am sick to my back teeth with the whole subject. I am not good with waiting, especially when it hurts, but have nearly finished the second course of antibiotics. Several bottles of my blood are winging their way to be tested, which might mean there could be good news coming my way soon.
I have learned one thing this week though. Writers should never get ill because our imaginations will try to kill us off in numerous ways. Fresh out of optimism, I have imagined countless ways in which I will stagger from this mortal coil and none of them are pleasant or even remotely romantic.
Deep down, somewhere the truth has receded to, are the memories of every test I have ever had, and the fact that almost all of them came back negative. Even when they weren’t, so this is probably my default setting!
I have always been a disgustingly healthy person, but also someone who has occasionally test driven emergency scenarios, probably for the benefit of the medical profession. It would seem that equally occasionally, I have to suffer for no damn reason too, with unexplained pain and symptoms. All of which eventually fade away, leaving no reason or explanation.
This time though, as I said before, I have a sneaky feeling they won’t be fading away any time soon. I mean, at my age I must have run out of lives by now.
The worst part about this week, all the above notwithstanding, is my lack of progress on just about everything. The memory of my WIP has receded into the distance, accompanied by the suspicion that I won’t be able to finish it. I am somehow managing to cope with the daily routine stuff, so maybe everything else is on a temporary hiatus?
I have tried very hard to encourage the grey matter to kick into action, but it’s not listening to me. Maybe the constant stream of paracetamol is affecting my muse, for she isn’t listening to me either…
ENGAGE MAJOR SUCKITUDE!!! 🙁 … I’m having a suckitudeinious time myself at the moment and the best I can find is, may we endure until something changes … big hugs, my friend.
Funnily enough, something is changing. I can feel something happening…
I hope things improve for you very soon and you find some relief from the pain.
It is easing a little, just need more patience I think!
I really hope something is revealed in the tests to bring you a swift resolution to all this pain, Jaye. Take care and be easy on yourself, it sounds like you need it.
I hope so too, and thank you for caring, Georgia!
That’s horrible, Jaye. Being ‘present’ to what you are going through is all I can offer. You have that…. x
Thank you, Steve…xx
I agree with Sue. I really hate clicking the “LIKE” button on this post, but my “LIKE” is to wing well wishes your way. It’s one thing to be on meds and muddled, not able to write. It’s another to be on meds, muddled, not able to write, and not have them bring any relief. Saying prayers that the blood tests reveal something helpful and you get much needed relief soon!
Thank you for your support, Mae…
I can’t really press ‘like’ on this one, Jaye. I just hope they find a way to get you some relief pretty quickly! Hugs x
So do I!
Fingers crossed x
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