Jaye’s Disappointing Days… #Friday Thoughts

Friday Thoughts…

I think this year began badly for everyone, as we were still shell-shocked from all that had gone before.

I thought most of it had gone though, hadn’t it?

This was a brand new year. Time to get cracking and shake off the residue of misery and frustration.

It took nearly three months before something masquerading as enthusiasm turned up, but boy, was it welcome!


There is always a but, isn’t there?

Once I started to enjoy being a writer again, my health slowly drifted to worryville. Various checks later, my heart has been pronounced strong and healthy. Blood tests have checked the rest of my bits, and they’re all fine.

So why do I feel so ill, breathless and tired? I have trouble doing anything, and it’s getting worse.

One last check, a chest X-ray. Surely this must give me some answers?

I had a mini meltdown at my doctor’s appointment earlier this week. I hate bothering the doctor almost as much as I hate feeling ill and hate asking for help. She kept me waiting a long time, and from the look of the usually calm and helpful doctor, she must have had one hell of a day. She looked much older, tired and exhausted. Probably didn’t need me and all my questions that day.

Communication was strained as I tried to convey my worries. She struggled to decide what to do, finally listening to my chest and agreeing that I needed an X-ray. At that point, I think she needed me to stand up, say thanks very much and walk away.

But I had one more question…

What happened next was like a slap around the face. I mentioned my poor swollen foot. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling and said, ‘I suppose you want me to look at it?’

I stared at her, my temper and emotions arguing about what to do next.

Out of nowhere, I stood up and said, ‘No, I don’t think I do….’

She tried to backtrack at that point, apologising (I wasn’t sure what for), and then blamed me for having so many questions. Apparently, I had exceeded my allotted ten minutes!

When I left the surgery, I wasn’t quite sure whether I wanted to scream or cry. I did neither. I felt numb, vowing never to darken her door again. It took two days of sitting around, unable to concentrate on anything, before I started to feel normal again. At that point, I could have lain down on the road and died.

The X-ray is next Tuesday morning…

24 thoughts on “Jaye’s Disappointing Days… #Friday Thoughts

  1. I’m glad for your good news in health and the muse being back. Talk about a shitty bedside manner. I’ve changed doctors in my life for similar reasons. I hope you get a new doctor and get your foot checked out. Have your sugar checked. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, Jaye, I’m so sorry for the doctor’s lack of concern. Glad the heart is ruled out as the culprit for your tiredness. I am no doctor, but it sounds to me like you are having symptoms of long COVID. Prayers for better days ahead!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so sorry that the doctor treated you like you were a nuisance, Jaye. Poor energy and a swollen foot are legitimate concerns, and you deserve to have your worries and health issues treated with compassion and professionalism. That’s her job! I hope she realizes how rude she was and makes amends by giving you excellent care. And best of luck with your x-ray. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry for your problems. I guess it’s better to have an appointment in the morning before all the stresses of the day have built up in the doctor.
    It’s almost impossible to get to see my doctor. Last time, I thought I’d seea pharmacist first. She said I should see the doctor. When I eventually managed to make contact with the surgery, they said they’d arranged for me to have an appointment with a pharmacist!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sometimes a visit to the doctor just makes one feel worse. Yours is a good example. I know they have bad days as we all do but really! No wonder no one wants to go and see them and then things go undetected. A vicious circle. I hope all goes well on Tuesday and you get some answers. It’s also not an age thing. My daughter is going through something similar. Sending hugs. xo

    Liked by 2 people

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