I recently wrote a very smug post about how clever productive I think I am being, but have since come to realise that although I have learnt so much more than I ever thought I could, along comes another truckload of stuff that I would love to be able to do. So much more to learn about book promotion, for a start.
This is on top of a workday crammed with so many things; I doubt I could fit anything else in. And if I thought my brain lacked something before, this is nothing compared to the state of it now.
I am talking about all the times I come to a standstill in the middle of the room, without a clue as to what I was doing or about to do. Could be either! And the times I catch myself doing something crazy, like trying to shove the kettle into the fridge!
Writing is becoming a bit of a problem too. If it wasn’t for the existing outline, storyboard and a pile of post-it notes, I don’t think my work would be coherent these days, unless my muse’s brain is in a better state than mine. I pray that it is.
I can manage to work on the PC efficiently enough; as I have an extensive filing system of all the lessons I have learnt at my fingertips, without which I could not function. Adding to these problems is the cataract in my left eye. Even on a good day, my vision is reduced; leading to feverish cleaning of the glasses, convinced the fault is there.
The rest of my body is starting to convey dubious messages also. Messages I try to ignore, but refuse to go away. After my tussle with cancer earlier this year, I felt remarkably well, but something still seems to be wrong and this state of euphoria has gradually faded, leaving me with more questions than answers.
Basically, all things considered, I know I am fighting a slowly losing battle on all fronts. It all seems to be downhill from here, and I had no idea how steep the incline would be. When did I get this old?
I still get good days, and not about to hang up my pencil just yet, though. Despite everything, I am still having fun, loving every confusing minute, even those annoying head banging ones. All the wonderful people we have met have made the journey worthwhile, and with a benevolent God and a following wind, the journey isn’t over yet!
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