She says I’m inconsistent
‘Cause I don’t like getting wet
In bathtubs or in garden grass
That’s been rained on and yet…

I’ll jump into a muddy pool
Or, in torrential rain,
I’ll walk for miles exploring, then
Ask to go out again.

I’ll bound through all the long grass
Holding water in its blades,
And splash in any stream or ditch
By nature or man made.

But let her fill a steaming tub
I’m quickly out of sight
In case it’s me she wants to soap
I’m always poised for flight.

I work hard to be fragrant
To the perfect canine Nose,
It’s not my fault she’s human
With a paltry one of those.

For dogs and whiffy coats, say I,
Go always hand in glove.
She calls me inconsistent,
But I know it’s me she loves.