But could you describe in great detail the perfect life you would have if you could create it yourself?
First, you have to decide on the basics, the where, what and when. Then you will need to create a pros and cons list to help you compare your life now with one you want to create. List all the things/people/ scenarios that need changing and why.
Make a list of exactly what you would need to do to make it work. Then make another list detailing how nothing would change if you do nothing.
Do you believe in your dream and yourself enough to make it happen? Or do you intend to wait until everything looks easy?
Consider what would need to be done and if you could actually do it?
Do you trust yourself enough to make these judgements?
Do you find yourself making bargains with yourself – If I can do this then that is possible?
Once you know, really know what you want to do, are you brave enough to do it? Or will it be just a daydream, a constant torment of what you cannot have?
How do you get past the lifelong notion that good things only ever happen to other people? Have always happened to other people, like in the movies?
How do you get around the idea that you are too old to entertain any of this? Simply writing things down does not make things happen or fears go away. Does it? No it does not.
If what you want to do or change is so huge, can you test yourself and the theory with a smaller goal? What else do you want or need, or is this just another stalling mechanism?
Maybe you should focus on something beyond your capabilities. (overreach yourself.)
This is something I do all the time. I never think ‘I can’t do that’. Being a bit of an crafts person, I look at something I like, usually expensive or unattainable and think, ‘can I make one of those? and I have a go.
You know, most of the time what I come up with is pretty good, even if I do say so myself. Maybe I was a forger or counterfeiter in a former life. I think the moral is that you have to try, as you don’t know what will happen. (and it can be a lot of fun!)
My Not so Perfect Life
Throughout my life, disasters of one kind or another have befallen me, both before I was old enough to do something about them and afterwards.
I never made lists of the things I wanted to change, of all the things, people, events that were wrong in my life.
No, I just got on with life (such as it was) and soldiered on, changing what bits I could and keeping my mind on everything else that I wanted to be different.
Some things I have never been able to change, and it has not been for the want of trying! But my mind never lets go of the idea of my perfect life. My Shangri-La.
But again, nothing changes. Same old hopes and dreams and frustrations.
I know what I want, but something stops me from doing anything about it. So what the hell is it?
I have always resisted new things, but usually have the courage to do what is necessary. But this time, what I want is seemingly selfish and will upset a lot of people.
Is it worth it?
Will I regret it?
Do I still want to do it anyway?
We have to stop putting up with things- out of duty, guilt, pity- or simply the dislike of change.
We have to recognise what we no longer need. They say if you haven’t used something for a year, you should throw it away. (and that can apply to anything)
Start with little things and build up to the big stuff. Somewhere along the way you will get braver. (Hopefully)
Mark bad days on the calendar and at the end of the month count them. Were there more bad days than good? If there is, something needs to be done and soon.
There are more bad days than I would like on my own calendar, but not as many as there once were. For not only have I changed a lot over the last few years, my acceptance levels are different too. I no longer yearn for what is obviously impractical and I’m afraid that has a lot to do with my advancing years. They say that youth is wasted on the young and I guess that’s right. I sure as hell wasted a lot of mine, but what is done…