I was going to start this by saying that there are two types of librarians. Mind you, last time I said that we ended up with a brawl. Somebody immediately leapt up and shouted that there were are least four types, male, female, shy, and intimidating. Another listener told him he was an idiot. He had known librarians who were tall and thin, whilst others were short and stout. A third person hissed at them and told them to be quiet and when they ignored her, she banged their heads together and told them to shut up. I hadn’t the nerve to ask whether she was a librarian.

But ignoring the cavilling of the buffoons at the Misanthropes Hall, or at least who drink in the upstairs bar, I will repeat my assertion. There are two types of librarians. There are those who cherish books, treasure them and would find…