Merry 12 Days of Christmahannukwanzadan Solstice! Day 4: Scary Santa PLUS my lump of coal from Amazon #humor

Barb Taub

As if a giant bearded guy in a red suit isn’t scary enough…

It’s here: that special time of year when otherwise loving parents—who would normally call the police if a paunchy, oddly-dressed old guy with a beard picked up their children and started offering them candy and presents—urge their kids to suck it up and smile at the Camera Elf, who already suckered them out of a $19.95 photo commemorating this special moment. Yes, it’s the official harbinger of the season: the traditional heartwarming picture of children screaming in panic on Santa’s lap.

Ho ho ho? [image credit]

I remember the first time I attempted this yuletide assault. My daughter was almost a year old, and she had finally agreed to sit on Santa’s knee so she could get a closer look at the fluffy little balls of pompoms and jingle bells dangling invitingly from the end of his…

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