Chardonnay Goes to Westminster

Stevie Turner

Chardonnay Smith donated a pound

And to her eternal delight,

Won the coveted ticket to a celebrity dinner

On the following Saturday night.


What should she wear?  Chardonnay mused

And flicked through her wardrobe in despair.

“I’ll make you the best dress there’s ever been”

Said Mum, opening a glossy magazine.


There on the page stood Skylar Simmonds

In a backless, halter neck gown plus pout.

“I’ll make you one of those”, said Mum,

“But we’d better make sure your boobs don’t fall out.”


In a trice the dress was sewn and stitched

And poured onto Chardonnay’s bulges.

Some sellotape ensured that neither breast

Would want to venture out, either east or west.


Off to Westminster Chardonnay went

In the dress made up by her mum.

There to greet her were a bunch of MPs.

One of them pinched her bum.


“Hey! You!” Chardonnay screamed.

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