Loss of confidence and faith

Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman!

I write this with tears in my eyes, and a feeling of terror and failure in my heart. Today has been incredibly challenging, and I do not think I am any good as a supply teacher. I don’t seem to have the requisite skills: Am too confrontational (through fear, mainly) and panic when behaviour slips out of control. I fear I have lost the ability I once had, that I am too old and have left it too late to go back into the profession, even on a part-time basis.

I am having to face up to my utter fear of being laughed at – and it is proving to be very very hard. I cannot go into details because it would be unprofessional to do so – but I am scared and unhappy, and my belief in myself – never the strongest part of my character – is wilting…

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