King Size: The Tale of the Mattress…

Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman!

So there I was, back in mid-December, suddenly given a moving date a week hence and, having slept on a decrepit old single bed for two years, in need of something a tad more commodious. Not, you understand, that I wanted the kind of nocturnal acreage so popular in the Middle Ages, which would comfortably have slept Henry V111 and his entire Court; I just wanted a farting sack in which I could turn over without falling onto the floor!

The clock was ticking, however, and, given my inadequate command of measurements, a good lead up to any final decision would have been sensible. However, time was a luxury I did not possess – and, with only the sketchiest understanding of what constituted a double, king size, small country size and so forth in the bed world, I went for a handsome appearance!

The bed I settled upon looked lovely…

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