I let the Light in
I was brought up in a dark place
My mother’s mind controlled everything
How you should feel, the way to think, to speak
To keep the memory of this to a minimum
I let my mind become a delicious blank
Like a sheet of white paper.
Let others think of their childhood
I do not wish to listen, for fear my mind
Become permanently glazed.
I find the need to frame each thought
As if filing them away for safe keeping
Lest my mother tells me it is
The wrong kind of thought.
God forbid my mind has become so weak
I need bait to keep it ticking over to my will
A box like Pandora’s where I can hide
My name alongside Hope.
Having let the light in these days
I snap back a lot quicker
These days I let my thoughts freewheel
Walking in the rain, they splash around
Like a happy five-year-old.
Later, I would like to add more names to my box
Husband, children, family
Maybe then, I will no longer wail in the dark
As I try to sleep
It all depends on the kindness of fate…