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“When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on…” Thomas Jefferso
What do you think when you read this quote?
Do you think of anger or frustration?
Or something else?
What is the best way to handle anger?
Is it better to hide it inside you, and never show what you feel?
Or should you vent your spleen, regardless of terrifying the cat?
Some people scream into a pillow or punch the wall… I tried that once and nearly broke my hand.
I have been surrounded by angry people for most of my life, and this has surely been the primary cause of the length of my own personal rope.
Having more patience than most people, it must seem as though my rope has no end, but I can assure you that you wouldn’t want to be around me if I ever do reach the end of it.
I have seen first-hand what a bad temper can do to both people and situations, and it’s never good. More damage is done in temper than almost anything else on this planet.
Over the years, I have become very good at controlling my emotions. I can be positively seething inside, but no one would ever know. Sometimes it is more difficult and I get perilously close to blowing a fuse. This is when I usually go for a walk.
Even if it isn’t far enough, it usually allows me to rein in some of my errant rope.
‘Give someone enough rope, and let them hang themselves…’
What do you do when you can see the end of your rope approaching?
Having learned that lesson with the hatchet, I try and avoid getting to the end of the rope. In the short term, if I feel I’m getting close I physically remove myself from the situation … or remove the situation from me. I remember having a flaming row with an ex (she wasn’t an ‘ex at the time but we weren’t far from it) and we were shouting at each other almost nose-to nose, and I felt that edge approaching, so I, gently yet firmly, pushed her out of the room and closed the door in her face. Which enraged her even more but I was able to make my escape out the other door and go for a long walk.
So, if we assume that the ‘end of the rope’ means that all avenues of discussion and negotiation have failed, I do something physical until I calm down enough to think rationally again, then ask myself what do I need to do for my Self in this situation, and then figure out a way to do/get it. in the above example with the ex, I didn’t want to be fighting fruitless battles over and over again, and we just couldn’t seem to stop, so I spoke up first and ended the relationship … before it crashed into the end of the rope and far more emotional damage would’ve occurred.
Short version. 🙂 … let go of the rope.
What a sensible person you are, Widds!
I try to avoid angry situations whenever possible, but when I find myself up to my neck in one, the long walk beckons!
You sound a lot like me. Long ago I learned to control my emotions (even though I’m a highly emotional person). When it comes to anger, I rarely let it show. And when I get near the end of the rope, I normally walk away from the situation. I also ask God to help me get over whatever the issue is, because I know if I do go ballistic, it is going to be very ugly!
You never really know just what good company you are in, do you? So glad I found out!
🙂
I imagine I’m running a theatre, showing the actors what to do, how to make the anger vivid and alive. I actually the parts in my mind and let it all vent – but within this space. At the end of my performance, I take my place as director, again and let the silence reach me about power x
Such control, Steve, but what happens to the cause of your anger?
It’s not really control, Jaye, just seeing something in the light of (hopefully) the fuller consciousness that we all have, but need to trust in use. I am no different to anyone else, but the technique can be.