For most of my life, I have held the key to a small, locked room of the heart. No matter how open I appear, that is, to a certain extent, an illusion, for that small chamber has been kept safe and silent and weighted down with this ballast of fear and lack of trust since I was a very small girl indeed.
Intimacy has eluded me. I have pushed people away – not always consciously – and paid lip service to the concept of trusting other human beings. I have had lots of sex in my life – but, have only entrusted a copy of that tiny key to one boyfriend thus far, and that was decades ago. I have spent hours disclosing my life and feelings to male and female friends – without taking that key out, showing my friends and, with their help, opening that confronting door.
View original post 784 more words