A Mean Visitor… #Anger or Depression?

I was decidedly not myself yesterday. I wasn’t ill, yet I didn’t feel right at all.

And after such a lovely family visit too, it didn’t make any sense.

As the feeling increased, I began to realise what it was. I was angry, very angry. It had been so long since I had thrown all my toys out of the pram that I hadn’t recognised it.

For the life of me, I couldn’t think why. We usually know what has ruffled our feathers, don’t we?

There had been a couple of annoyances that morning, but nothing major. As the feeling continued to grow, I became really worried. I was mad enough to do something drastic, like attack someone.

Anita was giving me a wide berth so she could feel it, too. What the hell was going on?

Half an hour later, after several Rescue Remedy drops, Kalms and some strong coffee, I didn’t feel any better. I was craving alcohol, and I hadn’t drunk anything stronger than white wine for years. Was I becoming a different person?

I have been a bit of a manic depressive over the years, usually with good reason. I can normally keep it under control. Whatever this was, it wasn’t my old friend depression.

This awful feeling stayed with me all day, but thankfully, it didn’t get any worse.

There is no sign of it this morning, and I hope it stays away…

I’m so glad it didn’t last long…


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Responses

  1. katerehanna Avatar

    Energy can sometimes trick you into thinking that it is you. Sometimes you can shake it off – I am glad that you let it pass and it actually did.

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      It was such a strong mood, but for once I was innocent, so it was easy to pass on, Kate…

      Like

  2. D. Wallace Peach Avatar

    Good for you for identifying that something was happening and taking the time to identify the emotion, Jaye. You might try journaling about it. I find that just free writing about an emotional experience can sometimes lead me to a deeper understanding. In the meantime, I’m glad the feeling has passed. <3

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      So am I, Diana. Even more pleased that it wasn’t mine…

      Like

  3.  Avatar

    Stay healthy furthermore. Don’t forget, that not every day is like the other, and the prediction of the upcoming fall doesn’t make mankind of the western hemisphere feeling happy. We love sun, fun and beaches! :-) Best wishes, Michael

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      I don’t know where it all came from, but I don’t want to experience it again, Michael…

      Like

  4. Tracy Avatar

    So glad you’re feeling better, and a good reminder that those feelings do pass for the next time.

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      I am glad it passed, Tracy… it wasn’t welcome at all!

      Like

  5. Esther Chilton Avatar

    Glad you’re feeling better.

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      So am I, I didn’t enjoy whatever that was at all…

      Like

  6. Stevie Turner Avatar

    Glad the angry feeling has gone for now…

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      So am I, Stevie. I like to own my feelings, but I didn’t want that one!

      Like

  7. V.M.Sang Avatar

    I keep reminding myself that it’s alright to be not alright. And that the mood will pass.
    Sometimes I feel not quite right, too. Not exactly depression, just very down. But it passes, and I get out of myself by writing, or reading, or anything, really that takes thinking about.
    I’m glad your angry feeling has passed.

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      I hope it never comes back, for I couldn’t concentrate on anything…

      Like

  8. cagedunn Avatar

    There’s often no real reason for it, just exasperation, or frustration. Whether at ourselves or others, whether at the world or beyond, there are moments we want to dig our feet in and be stubbornly antagonistic. In a way, it’s a self-harm strategy just to let us remember that we can feel things. It’s a monster on our backs, a self-flagellation punishment, an internal rage with no fire – finding a physical way to let it out without burning those around us takes a personal and specific method. I tend to garden for weeds, things to rip up and toss in the bin. No trimming, or there may be no plants left when the steam runs out. Or music that shuts the world out.
    I hope the monster goes back to sleep and leaves you alone.

    Like

    1. Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes Avatar

      So far it has gone, never to return, I hope. I usually enjoy getting out of my pram once in a while, but that was different. Not good at all…

      Like

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