Relationships…

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I have always been fascinated by relationships.

Any kind of relationship really, for as I grew up, it seemed everyone had one except me.

I spent most of my childhood in foster or children’s homes, where most of the other kids were just like me.  Sad, forgotten little people who didn’t really understand what was wrong with the world or why most people seemed to have families and people to care for?

Eventually, I came to realise that the fault had to lie with me. It was somehow my fault that no one wanted or loved me. This was quite an easy mistake for a child to make, for all we have to go on are the facts and the reasons as we see them.

My adult life hasn’t exactly changed that mindset either.  I have left a trail of broken relationships, marriages and sadness wherever I I happened to find myself. And although I have tried my hardest to make things work, it never has, not properly anyway. Maybe I still have something to learn, which is probably why I find relationships so interesting. By studying them at every opportunity, I still hope to find that magic ingredient.

Books are a great help, as they tend to detail people’s emotions and physiologies. This is probably why I so enjoyed the 50 Shades books. Here was a relationship to beat all, one that defied all the odds of a happy ending. Given the subject matter, most young women would have run a mile, but Anastasia Steele, the young and innocent heroine had the misfortune to fall in love with Christian Grey, the vulnerable and wealthy control freak, before discovering he had feet of clay. And that’s putting it mildly.

Over the course of three books, she endeavours to create her perfect relationship against overwhelming odds, and I was with her every step of the way!

I think Sach Black is right when she says in a recent post, that these books sold well not because of the sex, but because it is the perfect love story.


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Responses

  1. unholypursuit Avatar

    “I spent most of my childhood in foster or children’s homes, where most of the other kids were just like me. Sad, forgotten little people who didn’t really understand what was wrong with the world or why most people seemed to have families and people to care for?” I can’t imagine a child feeling unloved and unwanted. Feeling like a sad forgotten little person. I hope you now know that none of this had anything to do with you. It was the adults in your life who had the problems. And being raised in a loving environment doesn’t guarantee one will find the same in their adulthood. People exhibit whatever they brings into a relationship. It takes the other person doing their best to make it work also. The world has changed and so has people idea of what a relationship is. There are terrible people who seek out people who have lived through what you are talking about. I’m sure you know that by now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mariaholm Avatar

    The blog post is here on the inspiration that came out of reading your post Anita.

    Developing Relationships

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      Always glad to be an inspiration…

      Like

  3. Developing Relationships – Health from one Heart to Another Avatar

    […] from a fellow blogger Anita Daves who wrote the following on her post on Relationships […]

    Like

  4. mariaholm Avatar

    I understand that you have to study relationships when you grew up without the close contact with parents. I appreciate very much your post on this as I thought about these things my whole life. I worked for many years as a health visitor in Denmark and I have seen many different life conditions for children that way. I was separated from my parents the first months of my life due to premature birth. It doesn’t sound of anything compared to your childhood but still the lack caused a lot of insecurity for years and years

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      and we still managed to grow up into reasonable facsimilies of a human being!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mariaholm Avatar

        So good to hear you say this. I was thinking of writing a post inspired by some of what you say in your post. I will let you know when it is finished. Love from me in Denmark

        Liked by 1 person

        1. jenanita01 Avatar

          I shall look forward to reading it…XXX

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Let's CUT the Crap! Avatar

    Relationships are interesting to me too. I’m fascinated when any of them work and for 50, 60, 70 years. Sigh. I hope you find what you need. <3 <3 <3

    Liked by 2 people

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      Might be getting a bit late, but yes, I am still hoping!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let's CUT the Crap! Avatar

        Not me.I’m too busy–or maybe disorganized. :-D :-D

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Inspired Beacon Avatar

    Maybe some relationship won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever. :)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      Even the best adventure should finish on a high note though?

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Stevie Turner Avatar

    Reblogged this on Stevie Turner, Indie Author. and commented:
    Here’s a good one: Do you have that fairytale romance, or is it a down-to-earth partnership, warts and all?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      Neither, but I have a very supportive family… sighs

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Stevie Turner Avatar

    Nobody has that fairytale happy ever after relationship every single day. Sam and I had to really work at our marriage, and now I’m glad we did. It’s not the proverbial fairytale romance, but it’s good enough for me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. jenanita01 Avatar

      I’d settle for something that works, and not a one sided compromise…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Stevie Turner Avatar

        The perfect partner is very hard to find. Sam isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but together we’ve made it work. I know I’d definitely be worse off without him.

        Liked by 1 person

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