Jaye Marie and Anita Dawes

I learned to take my family
in small doses
or else they would feel like
a religious cult, toxic
to my system.

The more I worshiped my family,
the more I went to their church
of traditions and beliefs, and
the more dysfunctional I became.

They hypnotized me with guilt
and persuaded me to let go
of my own free will—
To ignore my intuition.
To minimize my feelings.

I feared my family as
I feared the church.
I worried that I would be excommunicated
if I didn’t toe the line.

The more I repented,
the more I pleaded
for my absolution.

Then, by accident,
I discovered the word “no.”
It was magical.
It allowed me to have the space
to find what I wanted
and to be in control
of my journey.

Without the family’s interference,
I took back what was mine.
I stood separately.
The more freedom I…