Dear Santa,

We may have a bt of a problem. It’s my two-legs… she is up and dpwn all night like a yo=to most of the time at the moment. And when she does manage to sleep,she is as likely to be on the sofa as in the bedroom. How are you going to sneak in?

I mean, our place is tiny anyway… not much of a place to hide a large man in red, not at the best of times…but with her awake and pottering, there will be nowhere for you to hide.

She says that you will manage, even if you have to twist your continuum, whatever that means… It sounds painful to me, and I’d rather you didn’t do yourself any injuries. Lots of people need you, especially this year.

I mean, I’d like the turkey and stuff, but my best present is still having her around…