Here’s my entry for July’s Blog Battle contest. I said to one of my blogging friends a while ago that I could write a whole story in Cockney rhyming slang – and so here it is!
WALTER’S HOSPITAL STAY
I’ve been laid up with me chalfonts and I’ve had a lovely kip, but the jollop’s wearing off now I’m stable. I tried not to ‘ave a tin barf when the doc came round and had a butcher’s up there. Gawd – didn’t he want to be a train driver when he was a saucepan lid?
It’s like a pox doctor’s waiting room in here; everyone’s got a long face. I try and talk to the bubble in the bed opposite, but it’s like flogging a dead ‘orse. He hasn’t got many hampsteads, but he has huge plates of meat – must be size 12 or more. I think he’s wearing…
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