This week I have been thinking about all the different kinds of love there are, and how many I have had the good fortune to have shared. Unfortunately, this also highlighted the ones I haven’t or made a complete hash of, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, right? At least I can’t.
I miss not knowing my dad, and I really wish I had never known my mum. (but that’s another story altogether!) Then there were two husbands one after the other that I’m glad I don’t miss in the slightest.
I was told once long ago that I have two brothers somewhere, and they are possibly who I miss the most. I watch Anita’s son and daughter sometimes and really envy their relationship. They do fight and argue sometimes, but they are always there for each other, instinctively knowing what each of them needs and offering it before the need to ask.
It would appear that missing things is one of the saddest aspects of growing old and I don’t care for it too much. I don’t want to spend any of the time I have left complaining about this and that, bemoaning what was and what could never be. My life has been what I could make out of it, good or bad, and I’m not really the kind of person who will waste any time worrying about all the ifs and maybe’s. What’s done, is done.
I was wondering what to write about this week, and then I started thinking about all the things I love now. (And I did need the reminder).
Which was a nice change from all the problems and mini-disasters that have been depressing my family and me of late and it lifted my mood considerably.
So much so, that when I ventured outdoors yesterday, battling against strong, chilly winds to run an errand, I began to notice things that I might not have seen last week. Mother Nature’s presence was everywhere, and I wondered if the weather would be kind and not ruin her efforts. But it was good to see them nonetheless, proving that Summer really can’t be far away after all.
Back to all the things I love at the moment…
I love having the strength of my family around me.
I love that I still have most of my health and some of my mental faculties. (More important than I ever knew it could be)
I love that I have learned so much this year, mainly from the people I meet online every day. (And I thank you all from the bottom of my heart)
I love that I am enjoying writing my books and loving every frustrating minute of it.
I love all the people (and I am sure you all know who you are) who, with their advice, patience and humour have inspired us so much.