Simultaneous Action #writing #editing

Story Empire

Hello, SEers! Mae here, sending out a “thank you” for visiting with me today. I’m in WIP mode right now and concentrating on writing. I’ve gotten so much better about catching “unlikely simultaneous action” with my characters, but every now and then something slips through. Thankfully, if I don’t catch the goof during editing, I have critique partners and an editor who will.

What am I talking about? Take a look at this paragraph:

Caith drew a slow breath, forcing quiet unpleasant memories. When he’d collected himself, he headed down the steps, wandering into the kitchen where he found Aren. His brother was seated at the table, bent over his iPad, a cup of black coffee at his elbow.

At first glance you might not notice anything amiss, but take a harder look at the structure of the second sentence:

When he’d collected himself, he headed down the steps, wandering…

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